What’s Up This Weekend? Going Out or Hiding Out?

Aug 17 | Filed Under Main | 

Do you have big plans for the weekend? Some people pack their weekends with activity.  Some have loose plans and still others totally play it by ear. None of these choices are right or wrong.  But if you are single and serious about looking for love, then what steps will you take towards that goal?

Since it’s August, you may have a beach party or summer BBQ to attend.  Perhaps you want to take a long bike ride, go kayaking, or play golf.  Any of these options could provide a way to meet new prospects. Go for it!

Here’s what you don’t want to do - hide out.  One of my clients this week admitted that she often avoids the whole thing by entertaining herself or hanging out with girlfriends.  These alternatives are fine - but they will not help you achieve her goal of finding a long-term, loving relationship.

The desire to hide out is understandable. It feels easier to just live the life  you know then risk getting out there and being rejected or not meeting anyone new.  But if you really think about it - the risk of hiding out is far greater than the risk of rejection.  How? Because getting rejected is a quick experience in this moment, then it ’s over. Hiding out impacts your future!

There are a lot of emotional reasons why you may prefer to hide out.  And that is most certainly your choice.  But if you truly desire love, then you will have to find a way out of non-dating inertia.  Chances are strong the first few times you venture out, it will be because you forced yourself to go.  But a funny thing is likely to happen after three to five times out.  You might start having fun. You might find yourself enjoying meeting new people. You never know who you will meet or who might connect you to "the one."

That’s my story.  I went out one fateful happy hour to meet my friend Carol.  Unbeknownst to me, she had invited five other women to meet us at the outdoor patio bar.  When I got there and saw the flock of females, I got very angry.  But then I had to get myself back in line, relax and go with the flow. 

Within 30-minutes of talking with these women, it was easy to see who was fun.  I had never met Maureen before but we hit if off.  I was telling my dating stories and before I knew it Maureen said - "My brother would love you. Can I give him your number?"  Well, one thing led to another and now I’ve been married to Paul, Maureen’s brother for over 7 years.

If you want to find love, hiding out is not a productive choice.  Once in a while everyone deserves to hide out.  Just don’t make it your usual practice.  Prince Charming or whomever he is, is unlikely to come knocking on your door.  You’re going to have to leave your home and go to some public place for him to find you. Are you willing to meet him half way? Why not help the guy and get out there tonight?

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