Ghoulish Post on Manslations about Pervy Dude
Well, there is a creepy Halloween posting on Jeff’s Manslations blog today. Perfect for the ghoulish events of the day. I was lucky during my dating days and didn’t run into this situation. Thankfully. Jeff answered his reader’s question masterfully about the man she’s seeing and how he’s getting progressively pervier - is that even a word?
That’s why I like Jeff’s blog. He’ll look at a question from many sides, work at being open minded, consider possibilities, and finish up with sound advice. All this versus just shooting off an opinion. Be sure to visit when you get a chance - well worth the surf.
BOO! Have You Been Toilet - Papered Yet?
Came home last night from the grocery store to find those long streams of toilet paper hanging from my trees. Not just my yard - the whole street had been decorated for "Soap Night." That’s what I hear they call this night of mischief.
Worse things could happen of course. I just stopped the car at the end of the driveway, reached up to pull the streamers down, rolled them up and continued down the driveway to the garage. Some neighbors think this behavior is cute and have encouraged their kids to take part. Nice huh? Others find it extremely annoying.
You can look at dating this way too. There are definitely times when dating can be annoying, no question. But how much you let it bother you is really the key. The best way to keep yourself motivated and active is to rely on "who’s next" thinking. That helps you focus on the future and its potential rather than what a jerk your last date was.
Almost everyone has a few outrageous dating stories to tell. Some are the stories from hell. Others are light diversions. Sometimes they can be amazingly similar - but the perspective is what makes the difference.
My advice? Do what you can to minimize dating annoyance. Don’t spend too much time grumbling over what an idiot your date was, or how you were done wrong, etc. I’m not talking about long-term relationships that came to an end - just the one or two night date types. Short-timers so to speak.
Don’t allow these brief encounters to leave deep scars by keeping the story alive. Try not to repeat the tales too often - just get them out of your system and then stop. Then, move on to think about whom you might meet next. You never know, the next one could be the charm, making it all worth it
Dan in Real Life - New Romantic Comedy Movie
Last weekend a new movie was released about a male advice columnist - Dan Burns who is a relationship expert with his own dating issues. Sounds entertaining. Dan, played by Steve Carell falls for this gorgeous babe who turns out to be his brother’s girl. Oh oh.
"The film is about two people who could not, not fall in love," Carell explains. "They’re good people and they are trying not to fall in love because they perceive it as hurting others. Ultimately, they can’t help themselves."
I always wonder about that "can’t help myself" explanation. I’ve heard that many times - some people are just magnetically drawn to a certain type of person who is insanely attractive and often poisonous as well. Harkens back to my belief about having a type - you get the good with the bad because when you have a type - it’s a package deal.
Anyway, here’s what the Chicago SunTimes had to say about the film…Enjoy!
The Evolution of an Affirmation - The Law of Attraction in Action
My matchmaker friend from Vermont, Nicole of Compatibles, sent me this quote today that sums up how affirmations transform to become your reality. Based on the Universal Law of Attraction which states "Like Attracts Like," the idea is really pretty simple. In order for your dreams to become reality, you must BELIEVE it’s possible for them to do so. And then your belief, morphs to become a true part of your psyche.
"It’s the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen." –Anonymous
In other words, your strong belief and deep conviction in the possiblity of love, magnetizes and draws it to you.
When I was dating, I found a small needle point pillow with the word "Believe" stitched into it. I placed it on my bed every day as the last touch of making it. Looking at that pillow, I worked at believing, envisioning, that love would find me. I admit there were times when I wondered. But not for long. I wouldn’t let myself indulge in this negative thinking. That thinking had already kept me single for too many years.
The right man was out there for me. I knew I had to make myself believe. At first it felt silly and false But with time, I started feeling that it was possible. That I could find a good man and have a loving healthy relationship. And we finally did meet each other with the help of his sister and a mutual friend who introduced us!
Take time every day to start believing. Draw this concept deep with you so that it becomes a strong conviction. Consider that there is no other reason for you to be going through all the work of dating and meeting new people if it weren’t leading to this loving conclusion. Imagine how it feels to be with the right man right now. Be grateful today, in this moment, that everything is falling into place. Know within your heart that this is true.
Wishing you love!
The Man-Free Diet - RX for a Broken Heart
According to Lola Rogers, creator of The Boy-Free Diet, the best solution after a break up is to proceed sans man. Not a bad idea. She has a series of rules that if followed, are rewarded with the ever popular retail therapy - but limited to once a week. Lola is pracitcal too.
The Man-Free Diet
1) No drinking and dialing/emailing of any kind
2) No visiting places where your ex is known to frequent
3) No sad music, tear jerker movies, or romance novels
4) No leaning on your back-up male friends who wish they meant more to you
5) No picking up strangers to help you get over "him"
6) No dating just for the sake of being in a man’s company
7) No beating yourself up, thinking about all the things you wish you’d done differently
Don’t forget about the reward for sticking to this stringent diet - a weekly shopping trip
And, like Weight Watchers - you can take advantage of these freebie options anytime:
Man-Free Diet Freebies
1) Plenty of Girl’s Nights Out with fun and laughter
2) A good dose of getting to know yourself again and decompressing
3) Hot baths and hot tubbing
4) Exercise - get reacquainted with those endorphins
5) Pampering from massage to nails to facials
6) Make over from makeup to hair style to getting your colors done
7) Journaling, meditation, therapy if needed
8) Occasional chocolate indulgences
9) Almost anything that makes you laugh is a good thing
Map of USA - Where Single Men and Women Live - A Bi-Coastal Thing
Now this is interesting!
Visit this site and look at the map that shows more single women live in NYC and more single men live in LA.
go figure.
http://strangemaps.wordpress.com/2007/07/06/144-single-guys-live-in-la-single-girls-in-nyc/
Look for a Man to Love You and Light Your Fire
Hi Ronnie,
eHarmony Gets Good Marks, But Not From My Clients
My friend Terry Hernon McDonald found this article (posted 10/22) about how eHarmony is so good, the people they match who get married equals 90 people per day. And their customer service associates get invited! Well the article was in 1 to 1 - a trade magazine about improving customer relations.
Guess they don’t track the unhappy customers. Every one of my clients (and frankly every single woman I meet) usually complains bitterly about eHarmony.. Either they get rejected, told there aren’t any matches, or the matches they do get are 100 miles away.
What is this about? It seems eHarmony is a better site for the under 30 crowd. When I talk to younger women, they are mostly happy with the service. Perhaps younger men are more willing to fill out the 400 something questions. Most men over 40 aren’t interested in the deep question, personality test stuff.
The contact systems is also cumbersome for people who are not of the web 2.0 age. I hear many stories about how things fizzle before matches even get to what the site calls "open communication" which is regular emailing.
So eHarmony may get high marks from an industry perspective, but not with the sample of people I encounter. Feel free to make your own decision - but just for fun, why not google "issues with eharmony" and see what comes up. Should be interesting.
Is There Such a Thing as Too Much Honesty?
Good Tips on Cyber Dating!
Wish I wrote this one. Some new tips and things to watch for on this article about Internet dating. Imagine realtors or insurance agents using match.com to sell services! That’s a new one on me. NewsReviews has some good insights written by Joey Garcia.
Includes how to handle a never been married and over 40 prospect, the rubberband man or woman, cyber mixer, getting your money’s worth or the grass is always greener syndrome and several others. It’s not too long and well done, so check it out and become even more savvy than you already are.
Dating Alchemy: MANifest the Love You Want
Transform your ideas about dating and your results in this insightful program Discover how to connect with your inner Goddess to heighten feminine charm and attract more men. Learn proven MANifesting techniques and understand the key to courtship with Yin Yang Dating Philosophy. You can find the love you want!
Saturday, October 20th, 11am-Noon Burlington, VT - The Whole Health Expo at the Sheraton Hotel
The Secret To Finding Love Today - How to Apply the Law of Attraction to Create the Love-Life You Want!
Burlington, VT - a Pre-Event for the Whole Health Expo
Are you suddenly single again and unsure where to start looking? Maybe you’ve been single for a while, but feel frustrated about your results. Don’t worry, The Secret can help. In this uplifting and information-packed workshop, you’ll learn how to apply the law of attraction to your love-life. You’ll also find out how to:
- Adopt Dater’s Mind for greater success
- Heighten your feminine allure and appeal
- Connect with your Inner Goddess to build confidence
- Flirt for the sheer fun of it
- Meet more men than ever!
And, you’ll discover how to overcome courtship confusion with Yin and Yang Dating Philosophy plus loads of other practical dating advice that will make your efforts so much more fun and successful When the workshop is over, you’ll leave with surefire "Attraction Plan" and "Action Plan" to find the love you want!
For the full write up, see the pdf
Fee: $45 includes a copy of Ronnie’s book - MANIfesting Mr. Right ( a $17.95 value) and a $12 weekend pass to the Whole Health Expo. That’s a deal!
Friday, October 19th, 6:30-9:00pm Burlington, VT at the Sheraton Hotel
Call Ronnie at 203-877-3777 to Pre-Register and Save Your Seat
Speed Dating - The Best Practice Playground
Have you tried speed dating yet? There are many different companies offering this fun and innovative way to meet the opposite sex.
How it Works:
You go to which ever web site you choose and register to create your account. Be sure to sign up for their email notices because you want to be able to sign up right away. This is especially true for women. They need an even number of men and women and more women always sign up - so don’t delay! Look for upcoming events up. Sign up now, think about it later.
Generally, the speed dating hostess will let you know as things get close if you’ve made it tot he list. Then you dress to impress and go!
Don’t use the interrogation method of conversation. Instead focus on having fun and making a connection. If you can do that - you can always get the low down later. But if you don’t create a fun interchange - you won’t be making a good impression.
Keep track of who you like - write their names and code numbers down. After the event, you’ll log into your account and make your selection. If they pick you and you pick them, the service will let you know there was mutual attraction. Yahoo!
Now what is the best way to approach this whole thing? First off, the best possible attitude is to think of this as flirting practice. Try different flirting methods out. Take some calculated risks. Just go and try to have a fun evening. Enjoy meeting new people -that’s the best way to look at it.
In fact I know many women who have made new best friends at these events. Having a dating buddy is a wonderful way to get and stay active. Like a partner in crime - but in a good way! You can egg each other on, motivate yourselves and go to events together.
Please don’t take this whole thing too seriously. It’s not worth it to get all down or bummed out - its just speed dating! Let this be another avenue to meet new people and practice flirting and you will come away with a good story, a good attitude, and a good opportunity to meet some of those guys again.
Try it!
Here’ s a few to investigate - 8 Minute Dating, Speed dating (the original) Hurry Date, Pre-Dating, A Match Made in 7, Got 5 Minutes and so on
Thanks to My New Vermont Friends
This Friday I’ll be presenting a workshop at the Sheraton in Burlington, VT as a pre-event to the Whole Health Expo. The workshop, entitled, "The Secret to Finding Love Today" will run from 6:30-9pm
In my efforts to get the word out, I just want to let you know about two new friends in VT who have helped me spread the word to single women. First off I connected with Nicole of Compatibles - she’s a matchmaker and a generous person who really loves bringing people together.
The second is Cathy from Pre-Dating.com. She runs the speed dating events for this group and is another good-hearted soul. I’m a big believer in speed dating and want to let all you Vermonters know this is a fun and fabulous way to meet singles.
Thanks to you both for filling in your members about this Friday’s workshop! If anyone from Vermont happens to read this post and wants to know more, visit the calendar page for details and call me at 203-877-3777 to reserve your seat!
Queen of Typos
Yes, I admit it freely - I am the Queen of Typos. Would I rather be Queen of something more prestigious? Well of course. 100% of the time I actually proof read my work - although that is no guarantee I’ll notice all the errors. 99% of the time I also use spell check. The problem is my typing fingers are dyslexic. That 1% of the time seems to bring me to Queendom. Let me take a moment to shine in this spot.
Today I got a comment about my penchant for typos - it seems the writer felt it makes a bad impression. Hard to argue with, true. On the other hand, I am rather human – I think that’s a nice quality.
When I coach women about their profiles and online dating, the subject of poorly written profiles and typos is a frequent topic. I hear it’s very hard to tolerate. Well, to each her own. Everyone has standards and typos aren’t the best. But here’s a question for you…
Meet Mature Serious Singles
Surfing again today and I found this dating site for mature and serious singles. (I think they mean serious about finding love, not intense and without a sense of humor.) The pitch sounded good as a recording of an Aussie woman automatically started telling me about the site. Take a look and let me know what you think! Certainly a niche that’s very needed.
User Names Make Your First Impression for Online Dating
You’ve decided to take the plunge and try online dating- good for you!
Now what? First, you get to pick your user name and it’s more important than you think. It’s often the first thing people will see online besides your photo. That means it is a vital part of the first impression you’ll make. So, you’ll want to choose a user name that’s catchy, clever, or different.
Many people choose their first name combined with a number - well that’s functional, but not very exciting. Sort of like buying a wrench at Home Depot. You may need it to get your project done, but it’s not going to blow your dress up so to speak.
Some people pick a trite phrase that they think is descriptive - but more often than not, lots of other people have thought of something similar. Names like Sweet & ActiveWoman or VTGirl. OK - its gets a point across, but it’s not that captivating is it?
Fine, so what will work? Well what if you show your sense of humor? Take part of song lyrics, a movie title or line something from a popular TV show? 30-Something, Charmed, or PennyLane. Better right?
Here’s what you don’t want to do - worse than a dull impression is the wrong impression! I went online and not to pick on anyone but - not sure what these ladies are thinking…
RedHotMama, MotheringLady, PassionateWoman, PlayfulGirl, Hot4U - Yikes!
Remember that if you are looking for a long-term relationship, you want to stay away from sexy titles. And the flip side is to avoid mothering - that is the opposite of sexy! Stay away from anything that starts to sound like the Madonna or Whore dichotomy.
You also want to avoid negativity, challenges or promises n your name - FaithfullyYours, NoLiarsApply, BitchinBabe, SmarterThanU
What is a good user name? Well, that’s a tough one because beauty or in this case "Good" is in the eye of the beholder. But what about something offbeat, funny, clever. IrishEyes, TriviaQueen, KayakandYak, LOLwithME, Surfing4U.
Get creative, have fun and remember - you only get one chance for a first impression - please make it count.
Five Types of Online Daters to Avoid
The journalists are just buzzing with stories on Internet dating. Here’s one with 5 types of dates to avoid - not the places to go but the types of people posted on Switched.com. Some good tips and a photo of George Clooney too. Still a bit negative.
The point is - do you believe everything you read? That’s an old saying challenging advertising. Guess what - being on match.com is ADVERTISING. So proceed with some savvy, smart shopper caution. Don’t take everything at face value. Don’t trust everyone to be honest like you are (or a tiny white lie fibber for a few lbs. and height inches)
The world is made up of all kinds of people and with 40% of all singles (which is half of the US population) that’s a whole lot of people. Yes, there will be outdated photos, people who don’t read your profile, people who are married and still looking, people who just want pen pals and a virtual relationship. So what? Let that go and remember - this is still an amazing resource to connect you with singles in a very quick and relatively inexpensive fashion.
Be realistic about meeting people online. You might find the love of your life right off the bat. You might have the date from hell. You might have a great story to entertain your friends. If you can approach this as an adventure, then you can tell the tale with pride, enjoy meeting new people, make new friends and also find love along the way.
Hey, don’t forget - I used personal ads - before the web got so big. That was 22 printed words on a weekly newspaper page and a voice mail from a prospect. No photos and not much info. Yet I met plenty of men. Most weren’t for me - but isn’t that to be expected?
I’m still in favor of online dating. And I’m happy to share my secrets on how to make it easier, safer, more enjoyable and more effective.
Savvy Dating Solutions
October 11, 2007
Staples High School, Westport, CT
To register, call 203-341-1209
Hartford Courant Tells One Side of the Story
This article ran in the Hartford Courant yesterday. Wow - what a downer! It was a story on how one woman was taken in by a big time liar who had several women going at once for years. A really heart-wrenching tale that thankfully ended with healing.
There is a tremendously positive side to Internet dating and let’s face it - cheaters existed way before the Internet and web dating was a twinkle in anyone’s eye.
I left an upbeat comment for the Courant to make sure the other side is noted. Read here if you like.
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