Dating Over 40: When Do You Hire a Dating Coach?

I’ve heard a lot of people say that the idea of hiring a dating coach makes them feel like a loser. They feel they should be able to figure dating out on their own like most people do. Well its certainly possible. The process seems simple enough: meet men, date some, pick one and get into relationship.

But, honestly, what in life is that easy? I haven’t found anything I do to be quite that simplistic.  Personally I think life has gotten more complicated. So I look for experts to help me navigate the things I’m not that familiar with or don’t have the time and energy to figure out myself. I don’t do my own taxes – that’s for sure.

Today, the MORE.com site has a new article today called Reinventing Romance: When to Hire  a Daitng Coach which shares what a few experts have to say. One guy said he’d be suspicious of a woman who didn’t have enough confidence to date on her own. Oh really? He didn’t hesitate to get post-divorce counseling, so what’s the difference?

Another point made in the article is not to become a "Stepford Dater". I’m all for that. I don’t work with people so that they all act or date the same way. That’s rather absurd. I work with clients to be the best they can be. And to help them understand the rules of the game. There are rules, many of them unspoken and confusing to women who just want to be straight forward about dating.

Sorry to say the straight forward thing isn’t an option. How would that look – "Hey, you’re cute and earn a good living. Want to date me?" Dating just doesn’t work that way. It’s a bit of a dance, especially when you are in mid-life and have baggage. That’s why I’m here to help.

Beyond the game, dating coaching helps people who need to believe love is possible for them or need to imagine that good men do exist. This part of coaching is referred to disparagingly as "parroting mantras." Yes, I work with affirmations because I personally got excellent results and so have many, many of my clients. It’s hard to argue with what works. (Feel free to try if you must.)

Dating coaching certainly isn’t for everyone. For people who want to find love, are uncertain where to start or unhappy with their results, working with a coach can be that powerful first step to turning your love life around. And it’s a great method to shortcut vs. finding things out on your own the hard way.