Prosperity and Love

Catherine Ponder, one of the most prominent women prosperity/success writers around, has written numerous books on prosperity. The one I’m reading right now is called Open Your Mind to Prosperity. Chapter 9 is called Prosperity through the Love Concept. I turned to this page and thought to myself - what? What has love got to do with prosperity? But I certainly was intrigued…

The author explains that the "Love Concept" is to think about love - to become filled with the idea of love internally, and then express it outwardly. She cites how Harvard University did studies on bombarding people and situations with thoughts of love to bring peace and harmony and cure the world’s ills. OK, tell me more right?

Catherine insists that "the minds eternal duty is to express love. This is the great lesson that mind has to learn: the lesson of love. Mind power can become unbalanced when it is not used lovingly.".(pg 145)

She recommends focusing or meditating on the biblical phrase "God is Love." and claims this can "…create a marvelous transformation … in you and your world."

Catherine goes on to say that when you work with the Love Concept, you set up a certain vibration that gets sent out into the world - one that others respond to positively and greatly appreciate.  This is starting to sound awfully good. She finishes this idea with an incredibly bold statement, "Dwelling on the Love Concept makes you a magnet for good," setting up a harmonious attitude toward life that creates a magnetic pull to attract what you want.

Yes, Catherine Ponder of course is known for her belief and reliance on the Law of Attraction. But what totally took my breath away was the idea that thinking loving thoughts could also bring prosperity. Wow! Who says love and money don’t go together? Then the author gave this surprising example:

There was a women’s business group who decided to put the Love Concept to the test. At every monthly meeting, the group spent some  time focusing on love for the group and it’s members. Within that year, so many of the single women got married and moved, that they had to reformulate the group and do a membership drive! I’m not kidding - that is what Catherine claims in her book on pages 145-146.

Now, you don’t have to pick a particular guy, or even specific qualities according to Ms. Ponder. Just the idea of focusing your thoughts on love can do the magic you require to shift your energy and make you magnetic. What if you tried this experiment yourself? What if you convinced a group of girlfriends to do this daily - even if it’s just for a couple of minutes?

And what have you got to lose? A few minutes of feeling good because you are immersing yourself in the energy and power of love. I encourage you to try it. And if you are feeling like reading, get the book too. Start believing you are lovable. Start focusing your thoughts on love. You can’t possibly lose.

If you want to strengthen your belief in love with affirmations, check out my audio program I Believe. The download has a cliché today, but the CD is available.

 

 

 

 

I Just Don’t Have Time to Date

Are you over committed? Does your calendar make your head swim? Do you sometimes feel like you just wish the merry-go-round would stop? I can relate! This world we live in today rushes forward at top speed. My inbox is full. My kitchen table is covered with mail. With so much information and so many things to do and take care of, who has time to think, never mind date?

Unfortunately we can’t slow the world down. However, WE CAN FIND WAYS TO SLOW OURSELVES DOWN.

First of all, taking care of yourself has got to be priority number one! That means eating well, sleeping enough, getting that exercise. Second, you have big priorities that can’t be ignored such as your job, child care, elder care and taking care of your home.

But after all that is done, is there time left for your heart?

There is only one way to get the time you need. And that is to make finding love a priority in your life. How you may ask?
Here are a few suggestion that may help:

1. Find an event you want to attend and put it in your calendar! Invite a friend or go alone. Don’t let yourself off the hook!

2. If you are considering Internet dating, put a timer on for 30-minutes or one hour. When the buzzer goes off, move on to do something else! (This timer process works great for any task including getting organized one hour at a time.)

3. Decide right now how many times during the next month you will set aside to meet new people. Create that as a goal and write it down. Then set aside time in your day planner or calendar to ensure you do this.

4.  Learn to be spontaneous. Pry yourself out of your comfortable chair or couch, put that book down, shut that TV off, and go out for a change. It’s hard to change old habits but it’s worth the effort.

5. Leave the dishes in the sink. Something’s gotta give. The world won’t come to a screeching halt if your laundry isn’t folded or your dishes get done tomorrow.  it’s OK to put off an item or two until the next day so you can leverage a social opportunity today. Just buy more underwear and stop worrying!

What ideas do you have to find the time to get out there? Please share them here with other readers so that everyone can find the time to look for and find love!

Vacationing from Dating?

Sometimes you just need a break from dating. Maybe you recently exited a relationship. Or you just had too many bad dates in a row. It happens. Taking a break from the dating scene can really help refresh you, let go of some negative thinking and disengage from bad habits. This is a great strategy…as long as it’s just a temporary vacation.

If you have recently ended a relationship, then healing is a must before re-entering the dating game. Rebound relationships may help you get over your ex, but it’s not always the healthiest way to go about healing. And it can create casualties, regarding your dates, if you know what I mean. So a dating vacation is most definitely in order. Time to regroup, recharge your battery, regain your confidence, re-think what works for you.

How long does this take? Well it does differ from person to person. It depends on why your relationship ended. And your previous relationship baggage. And your family dynamics.  It’s so involved!  Let’s just say it depends on many variables and how you process things. If you were involved for a while it will probably take longer than if you’ve had a string of bad dates.

Clients often ask me, "How can I get ready faster?" Interesting question.

There are a number of steps you can take and methods to use to move through the healing process with intention. You can’t really skip any steps in your process. But you can change your focus - which changes your energy, which can move you forward a bit faster.

Here are a few tips that are incredibly powerful for letting go and moving on:

1. Pulling Strings.
This is a visualization in which you imagine there are strings attaching you and your ex. Notice where these strings are attached to your body and then one by one, you imagine gently pulling them free from where ever they are attached. After, spend time healing the spots to close up the connection. I have even heard of people who visualize burning those strings to make sure they don’t re-attach themselves later. This can be a very empowering exercise to free you from a connection that no longer serves you.

2. Prayer
While I’m not religious, I do believe in God or a God -force. To pray  for help in moving on is a strong method to focus your energy on what you DO WANT . Ask for the God of your choice to help guide you and free you from your connection to your ex, and help heal you to find love once again. You can also ask the angels to help. The power of prayer is undeniable, regardless of your religious beliefs. Countless double blind studies have proved time and time again that people who are ill and prayed for, even without knowing it, heal faster.

3. Chant
I’m big on chanting and make up new chants to focus my thoughts and energy on whatever my new goal is. To lose weight, heal a friendship that isn’t working, make a business connection or let go of a lover. it just works. Pick a tune you know - something simple like a child’s song (Twinkle Twinkle Little Star has been used frequently!) and change the words to express your intention. I have a whole CD of chants - some to let go of love and others to attract love. Find out more here.

Then, once you have used one or all of these techniques, Don’t let yourself off the hook. If you are serious about finding love, you’ll need to end that dating vacation at some point and get back into gear. Looking for love is worth it. No one ever looks back after finding love and says, "What a waste of time that was!"  Find a way to restore your faith and get back out there to attract and find the love you want and deserve.

Can I Take My Profile Down? I’ve Had 3 Dates with Mr. Wonderful!

Yesterday, Stacy asked me this question. The short answer is – I don’t advise it. Don’t take your profile down before you know how things are going to unfold. There are cases where you hit it off with someone and you know – this is it. Or at least it seems that way. Ever felt like this? Ever been wrong?

John Edwards’ Cheating Heart

My friend Terry, author of How to Attract and Marry the Man of Your Dreams has a funny video of Jon Stewart from the Daily Show on Comedy Central - berating Senator John Edwards on his adultery. I have got to start watching his show - very clever and funny - reminds me of Bill Maher, another comedian who builds a show around the news.

Senator Edwards made some incredibly stupid comments when discussing his transgression. He said it was during a period when his wife was in remission - uh - yeah, that’s an excuse - Oh she was healthy so that makes it better?

He mentioned several times that no one in his family was to blame - uh duh? Could he blame his children or his wife? Only he has control, or lack there of over his little head shall we say.

Then he tapped his heart repeatedly claiming this is where his wife resides. Oh really? So that’s how you treat a woman who resides in your heart?  What a fool. Doesn’t he know the less said the better? There is no excuse. He would have been better off just saying I did it, I got caught, I’m sorry. End of story. Anything more is like salt in the wound and makes him sound like a complete buffoon.

Now I’m not commenting on whether or not his wife should forgive him or where they go from here. That is a totally personal decision and I can’t make that one for anyone else. And I can’t even comment on what I would do in that situation. Frankly, I pray I don’t have to ever make that decision. And my heart goes out to anyone who has been in this predicament.

I do have a friend whose husband cheated on her during the first year of marriage when she was pregnant with their first child. She caught him, they fought a lot. Then she forgave him. But 20 years later she still doesn’t trust him even though she has never caught him cheating again. On the other hand, they have been happy, raised two children and really enjoy each other’s company. so you can see why I am at a loss to give my perspective. I just don’t know. For my friend, she feels she made the right choice and really that is all that matters.

My only comment would pertain to a person who has been caught cheating multiple times. I suppose someone could slip up once, And then refrain from repeating such a mistake. But if cheating is a habit, that’s a whole different can of worms.

If you have 4-5 minutes, you can watch the video on Terry’s blog  The video is actually a little over 6 minutes but the end includes comedy about our president at the Olympics - off topic, although you may want to see the whole thing if you have the time.

Enjoy!

 

 

Chinese Face Reading - The Clues to Finding Mr. Right are in His Face!

I just met this very interesting woman who is a Feng Shui expert and practitioner. We got to talking about dating and she asked if I had ever heard of Chinese Face Reading. "Nope" I said, "but tell me about it."  Krista went on to tell me how you can look at a person’s facial structure and features to discover personality aspects and characteristics. "Really? Well that could be a BIG HELP on the dating scene!"

How many times have you wished for your own  personal psychic who could tell you if the man you are attracted to and interested in would be a good match? The psychic could hold an item of his like a business card or look at a photo of him. And from that, tell you the potential of this union? Wouldn’t that be awesome? Perhaps that will be the next business I start - except I don’t really have that skill all locked  up.

But, turns out you can learn about Chinese Face Reading and use this method to do-it-yourself! Want to get some insight into that guy you have your eye on? Here’s your chance.

Krista and I will get together soon to collaborate on a project. But in the mean time, I spotted a great article on this that can educate you right now on the benefits of this ancient Eastern practice.

Chinese Face Reading and the Single Woman

If you have an interest in Chinese Face Reading or anything Eastern and spiritual, you may also find my audio program on Feng Shui helpful.  "How to Attract Love and Keep it with Feng Shui" is a very practical and simple guide to creating your love corner and altar dedicated to finding the love you want and deserve. I used these techniques and felt the practice helped me focus on my goal and made me feel like attracting Mr. Right was possible. Plus, it kept  my intention in sight, visually reminding me why I was making the effort to get out and meet new people.

Even today, I still have my love corner set up in my home, honoring my husband and I, love and partnership.

If this sounds like something that might help you find the love you want, get your copy here  and start setting up your love corner to heighten your magnetic appeal.

Are You Ready to Date?

My friend and fellow dating expert, Terry Hernon MacDonald wrote an excellent piece last Friday in answer to a reader’s questions about dating via the Internet. In fact, I was taken by her direct approach and savvy honesty from her perspective about the question asked.

Her reader said she was ready to date, but then signed up for a site that would actually make it hard to meet the men. And that is exactly what Terry pointed out. Of course this had nothing to do with the question which is why I admire her well- thought out response. She went deeper to get to the potential heart of the matter.

The question was about how the reader could start attracting men closer to her age because she was mostly attracting men in their 50’s. Terry is big on the Law of Attraction and her answer applies her belief system regarding this Universal principle.

I might have thought that, but chosen to  focus on the fact that the Internet, even more than any other dating method, will attract all kinds. And it’s the easiest place for older men to approach younger women because the sting of rejection is reduced when it’s electronic. This makes it easy for older men to get very bold and write to women 15-20 years their junior all the time. It’s called FANTASY. They are basically dreaming.

And these men are most often trying to fish from a pool that will NEVER BITE. So, for all you gals out there who are furious that too many older men wink or email, don’t worry about it. There are plenty of younger men in cyberspace as well. For all you 50-60 something women who think older men just want younger women, remember that 30% of women over 40 are dating younger men. Not only can you date men your own age (and there are those men living in the real world who you can connect with) you can also dip into that younger pool yourself.

But for you older women who think of yourself as being so youthful that you are ONLY WILLING TO DATE YOUNGER MEN - you  are now dreaming with the older men and will probably remain single just like them. Be realistic and expand your age target to date men your own age, or older, or younger. When you narrow down the pool, you severely limit your chances of finding the love you deserve.

Isn’t it great that dating experts focus on different aspects fo dating? I agree with Terry - it’s quite possible that 32 year old woman might not be ready to open her heart again to date. That is an excellent "diagnosis." And I’d also say to her, "Honey, just delete those emails if you’re not interested and keep going. There are plenty of men your age on the technology superhighway."

46 Men and Counting

Well this summer has been a hot one for some of my clients who took me up on the challenge to meet and talk to 50 men in just 100 days.

At the start of the challenge, there was a lot of disbelief and grumbling. Some women insisted that it just couldn’t be done. How could you even find that many men? And what a pace - that’s a new man every other day! Honestly, not one thought that the number could be reached in such a short amount of time. This was considered an insurmountable task. Unachievable.

Can you relate to their uncertainty? Do you wonder how such a feat could be accomplished? Can you hear yourself in any of these comments or do you feel even worse about the idea?

Well, not only is meeting this many men do-able and possible, but two of my clients in the current group coaching session are going to actually surpass the challenge! How about that?

You might ask, "What’s so great about talking to so many men?" Plenty! Here are several of the tremendous behavioral and belief shifts that have transformed how these women think about men, dating and themselves:

7. They used to think there weren’t any men to talk to and wondered where they’d find so many prospects. Now, when they go out, these women look around to see how many men can be added to my list!

6. Meeting new men and talking to them has become fun! These women no longer see it as drudgery, thinking, "Ugh, another loser." Turns out that a lot of these men are really interesting.

5. They have discovered that you don’t have to be a super model to approach men. Any woman can be friendly and flirty. And, 99.9% of the time their conversations and ice breakers have been welcomed and very well received. This has boosted their confidence in a big way.

4. They have totally embraced the challenge after their initial skepticism and make sure they have places to go and things to do to meet men at least twice a week. This activity has become a regular part of life. They don’t stress about any particular event any more - because they know - if one doesn’t work out or go well, there is always another opportunity! Wow, how about that optimism!

3. They now recognize how many men are out there. They see the abundance and have touched it so they know it’s real. That means it’s only a matter of time and a numbers game to meet the right one. How true!

2. Suddenly, these women realize they have become adept at meeting men. They don’t sweat over starting a conversation any more or stammer with nerves. This is the confidence that comes with plenty of practice. Something that cannot be achieved any other way. They didn’t start out being  friendly, super sociable, or flirty, but they sure are now.

1. And the number one benefit? Meeting more men equates to getting more dates! After all, Isn’t that the number goal?.

The good news is  I’ll be running this challenge again in September. If you happen to think you couldn’t possibly have the same results but have the spirit to give it a try, check back soon for details on the upcoming September challenge. Or sign up for the monthly newsletter Kiss & Tell which will bring details and savvy dating strategies right to your inbox.  You can also sign up in the top right corner on any page of this web site.

Is it Safe to Use Your email Address with Your Match.com Acquaintances?

I learned something new today from a tech friend about email addresses. A client asked me if using her regular email is safe on match vs going through the match email service. I wasn’t sure so I asked my friend.

I figured if your email address doesn’t have your real full name in it, and you use a free service like gmail or yahoo or  hotmail, you’d automatically be safe. Well, not necessarily…

Here’s how to know for sure. Google you email address. If you have ever signed up for anything with your email and home address that required your full name - not good. It will likely show up. So, if you are very security conscious, before you start emailing , Google your email or get a new one and don’t sign up for anything using this address. Keep your match email strictly for that sole purpose.

Be safe out there, but have fun too!

AARP Survey of Singles, 40-69 Revisited

Here’s an interesting article which quotes the 2003 AARP singles survey I’ve talked about before. This is the survey that revealed how  30% of women over 40 are dating younger men.. Which means there are men under 40 who are willing to date women OVER 40!  The study also points out that both men AND WOMEN want to date younger people.  It’s not just the men. Of course insisting on dating only younger partners, limits your possibilities for either s-e-x.

Boomers between 40-70 enjoy their freedom and independence most, but wish they had someone to do things with. So true isn’t it?.

The original article about the survey from AARP magazine was written by Sarah Mahoney. If you are looking for evidence that it’s worth getting out there regardless of age - you will find it in this article. But if you believe it’s too risky and there are crazy out there - you’ll find that as well. She wrote a balanced piece. And wackos are every where. Luckily we so-called-normal people (whatever that means) still vastly out number the wackos.

I maintain that your beliefs and attitude totally color your experience. In other words, your outlook - positive or negative - sets the tone. As humans we look for evidence to prove our beliefs are correct - it’s just the way we operate. Be aware of your leanings before you read the survey article. She also mentions a number of ways to meet people, but nothing you haven’t seen before.

The good news:
Both articles state that with some patience and realistic expectations, you can find love again at any age.

Amen to that.

The Law of Attraction and a Truckload of Watermelons

Driving down the highway yesterday, I noticed a small pickup truck weighed down by cargo. The back end of the truck was riding lower than the normal horizontal position. From a distance, I couldn’t make out what was filling the truck’s bed, but as I got closer things became clear. Watermelons! A bountiful load of watermelons filled the back of the truck. That’s not something you see every day on a Connecticut highway.