Three Ways to Scare off a New Man - Happy Halloween!

Boo! It’s Halloween, one of favorite holidays. And a great backdrop for talking about dating. Halloween is about the fun of being frightened and scary things that go bump in the night. All of that has its place. But the last thing you want to do is scare off a new man in your life. Here are three ways you might inadvertently frighten your date away and how to avoid them.

1) Staunchly Independent
You are an independent woman who doesn’t "really" need a man. I get it. But that is the last thing you want him to feel. Most men want to feel needed. Not by a needy woman - that’s something different. But to do man things for you. Help with your car, fix stuff, carry hearvy things. A staunchly independent woman who wears that status boldly and talks about it directly can be off putting. You know you can take care of yourself and more power to you! But, don’t send him packing before you get to know him.

You can be independent all you want - just don’t flaunt it in his face. Let him open the door for you, order the wine, pick up the check. Let him have the traditional role and "be the man." If you want to be your most attractive, be yourself, be warm and receptive, and be easy to please and appreciative of his efforts.

2) Trying on the Future
When you meet a wonderful man, it’s hard not to get caught up in the excitement. That is the fun part of dating. However, if you start doodling your name with his, if you think how his surname sounds with your first name before the second date (and you know you do this sometimes) that is a very scary thing. Don’t plan your future before you have one. Stay in the present moment. Anything can happen - and that’s to move the relationship forward or to cut it short.

When you lean into the future, you may appear anxious. And anxious might look like neediness - Oh no! That is often the downhill slide for a man. So avoid over thinking the future. Stay present, keep your eyes open and know that it will all unfold with time.

3) Fixing Him Up a Bit
Let me tell you straight out - you cannot change a man. You cannot change anyone, except yourself and event that’s not so easily done. The only thing you can change about a man is his clothing and his hair - maybe, if you’re lucky. But that’s it. 

He is who he is. Your attempts to improve him could be taken as a lack of appreciation for who he is right now. That’s not good and doesn’t bode well for your budding relationship. Pushing him to change is a great way to push him away.

Yet, this is a mistake that women make all the time. I remember myself thinking about a guy and wishing I could just mix together a good part of someone else with the new guy’s qualities to have the perfect partner. We all have done this from time to time. Does it work out? Nope.

So refrain from fixing him. Appreciate who he is right now. And if you cannot do that, he’s probably not the right man for you.

How to Enjoy hte Magic
There are many more chilling things women do to chase men away, like not returning phone calls, taking about your ex, complaining that all men stink, etc., but we’ll save that for a rainy day. In the mean time, if you are dating someone who seems to be in your ball park for the qualities you seek, smile at him, praise his efforts, give him a warm reception and enjoy the magic that is falling in love.

Happy Halloween!

October 31, 2008 | Filed Under Blog | Leave a Comment 

FINDING LOVE ONLINE

There’s no question that online dating has gone mainstream with more singles than ever seeking and finding love over the internet. That’s because over 40 million people are online! During this fun, interactive workshop learn about the many different sites available and the pros and cons of some of the more popular ones. Discuss how to write a dynamic, effective profile and emails that get answered. Discover how to filter out inappropriate candidates. Meet other singles and share different strategies for getting to know people online. Discuss safety tips first date ideas and what to expect.

 

Thursday, October 30th  7 – 9pm, Westport Adult Education, Westport, CT
To register, call 203-341-1209

 

October 30, 2008 | Filed Under Past Events | Leave a Comment 

Trick or Treat? Dating Advice that Dispels Creepy Notions about Finding Love

 

For many, Halloween conjures thoughts of scary movies, haunted houses, witches and goblins. But you’d be surprised how many people find the idea of dating in mid-life just as frightening, if not more! As a professional dating coach, I’d like to dispel a few of the chilling misconceptions that keep people from taking steps to change their single status.

 

Hair Raising Tales about Mid-Life Dating
Any one can have a bad date or two. But some people love to tell horror stories. Don’t let other singles scare you off from the dating scene because of one bad experience. With common sense and a good sense of humor, you will be safe and even have fun.
 
Take the pressure off and just meet new people. Even if you’re date isn’t great, you never know who he knows – neighbors, brothers, business partners – there are numerous possibilities. Many prospects won’t be right for you – that’s to be expected. But most are regular guys looking for love the best way they know how. It’s a numbers game, so the more men you meet, the more likely you are to find the love you want.
 
Online Dating is Creepy
When women ask me where the men are, I tell them straight out – on the Internet. This is particularly true for men over 50. Many men tend to become more private with age. They aren’t joiners or as social as women tend to be. Because of this tendency, men often seek dates via the Internet. So, the Internet is actually your best bet to meet a number of prospects at any age.
 
Online dating is no longer a desperate act of last resort, but a teaming social arena where it’s easy to find other singles. The internet is simply a slice of American life – no more creeps than at a bar or your neighborhood Barnes and Noble. And the truth is, people fall in love via the Internet everyday – why not you?
 
Too Many Goblins and Ghouls at Singles Dances
Some clients complain that singles dances are populated by losers (or for Halloween– goblins and ghouls.) But keep this in mind – new men venture out every week. You never know when a new crop of great guys will show up.
 
For women to get the most from a singles dance, wear something that makes you feel fabulous, then stand at the edge of the dance floor wearing a warm smile. Tap your foot and look ready to dance and say "Yes" to as many men as possible. The good guys are watching to see how you respond to the bold guys who approach you first. If you’re kind and say yes to most men, the nice guys who you want to meet will take the chance of asking you to dance.
 
Let go of those scary notions and get out there this Halloween. As you expand your social circle, you are so much more likely to connect with a wonderful partner - the one you’ve been dreaming of. 

 

October 29, 2008 | Filed Under Blog | Leave a Comment 

Hippies for McCain?

I know this has nothing to do with dating but I just wanted to ask if any of you can explain this to me.

Today I was driving on I95 from New Haven County to Fairfield County and saw a blue mini-cooper being driven by a man at least late 50’s or older with his long, white hair in a ponytail. He had ttwo stickers on the back of his car. One was a classic Grateful Dead sticker with the skull and lightening bolt in red, blue and silver. The other was a McCain sticker.

Hello? This does not compute!

Here’s how I see this equation:

Man with long hair in pony tail = hippie
Grateful Dead bumper sticker = hippie
Age of man - 50’s/60’s boomer = possible ex-hippie

McCain sticker = definitely not a hippie

Remember the 70’s? Question authority. Anti-government. Anti-war. Women’s Lib. Make Love not War (OK, maybe that was the 60’s)

I am so curious about this - I wish I could have called him on his cell and asked him to explain himself.

Is it just me?

 

October 28, 2008 | Filed Under Blog | 2 Comments 

Halloween Hottie or Harlot?

My good friend and fellow dating advisor, Terry Hernon MacDonald wrote an excellent post on her blog about Halloween costumes. Terry feels that in recent years, women have taken to wearing more revealing costumes with plunging necklines and sky-high FMP heels. She wonders what happened to looking pretty. Her main concern of course is that prancing around in a slutty-looking costume will attract the wrong kind of male attention. And I must agree!

Don’t get me wrong. I’m a huge fan of dressing up for Halloween . Wearing a mask and creating a new persona definitely lowers inhibitions which is what makes this the perfect singles holiday. It’s so easy to start conversations with strangers come up with comments about the get-ups. Just be conscious of what message you want to send with your outfit..

I’m not a prude either and I totally get that you want to look hot. Go for it!  However, keep in mind that leaving something to the imagination is a huge part of attraction. Less is more. Not less clothing, but less revealing. Attraction and fantasy go hand in hand, so please leave him something to think about.

Choose a flattering costume that shows off what you’ve got, but show a sense of taste as well. If you’re just looking to party - go ahead and don that hoochie mama look.  But if you want to attract a good man of substance, use a bit more restraint. You’ll still look hot, without letting it all hang out.

October 28, 2008 | Filed Under Blog | Leave a Comment 

NETWORKING SINGLES RADIO SHOW


Listen to live broadcast at www.WNRI.com click on listen button
Thursday, October 23rd, 6-7pm est

October 23, 2008 | Filed Under Past Events | Leave a Comment 

Conversation Starters - How to Break the Ice with Men

 

In my 100 Day Challenge Group, one of the participants wanted to know how to strike up a conversation with a man she is interested in. I think the easiest thing is to pick up on something from what’s going on around you. But there are several other ways to "skin the cat" as the saying goes…(that is a gross saying isn’t it?)

Comments from the Environment
-This is one of my favorite songs. What do you think of the band? 
-Would you please help me get the bar tender’s attention?
-Have you tasted this appetizer? It’s really good.
-How do you know the hostess or host?
-Your dog is so cute - what kind of dog is it?

Personal Comments (You have to believe these or don’t say them)
-You have a great smile
-That color looks great on you
-What a nice shirt (touch it lightly on the arm for emphasis if you are really brave)

Comments from the World at Large
-How about those Mets, Nicks, Giants? (Depends on the sport in season)
-Local town news - did you hear about the board of education’s latest?
-Anything out of the news
-Beautiful day isn’t it?

Something Silly (If you are good at humor and feeling sassy)
-How did they ever let a man like you in here? (Then giggle of course)
-Why did your woman leave you standing here without her? (Good way to find out if he’s single)
-Do you have a woman at home who’d be jealous if I flirted with you? (ditto)

Clichés work! Don’t underestimate stating the obvious as a simple, but highly effective ice breaker. Most people are happy when someone else starts a conversation. Why? Because you’ve done them a big favor by making things easy. Trust me, this is something I really know not only as a dating coach, but as a woman who has tried it with great success.

#1 Rule
The number one rule for striking up a conversation is not to take your efforts too seriously. The first thing you say doesn’t really even matter. It’s not that important, so take the pressure off.

Just do it and get in this habit. You will have more fun, meet a lot of interesting people and have a few great stores to tell. I’m still doing this - you never know who you are going to meet or who that person might know. The more you do this, the easier it gets. After the first few times, you’ll relax and start to look for opportunities.
The more you look around for someone to talk to or meet, the more you expect to meet men, the more men you meet! It’s pretty simple really. What are you waiting for?

 

October 22, 2008 | Filed Under Blog | Leave a Comment 

Wiggle Room

When you first start dating someone, you might not want to spill the beans about your whole life story for a number of reasons.

1. First off, you don’t want to scare anyone away!
2. You want to keep things positive and upbeat, not tell war stories
3. You want to make a good impression - so feel free to share happy stories
4. You want to make sure the conversation is a two way street, not just about you
5. Listening is very attractive

With time, you will begin to explore all the things that make you the individual you are todya and find out about your date’s life as well. But I want to pose a thought provoking question about telling your stories. Do you leave yourself any wiggle Room?

Wiggle Room is when you can tell a story, or the gist of it, but maybe you don’t add in all the gory details. Why? Because you want to feel safe and know you are sharing private information with someone you can trust. And even more true for meeting people from the online dating community.

This is why time is so important - so you start to have a track record of watching how the other person reacts to your personal data.  Wiggle Room gives you the chance to share very intimate details a little at a time. You can always go back to fill in the gaps or embellish as you discover whether or not the person is trustworthy.

I highly recommend leveraging Wiggle Room. It can preserve your privacy and keep you from wearing your heart on your sleeve. Sometimes all the details aren’t really necessary for a good story any way. But with Wiggle Room, you give yourself the option. Options are powerful and come in handy.

If you have a track record of sharing too much too quickly, please consider Wiggle Room and make it a part of your dating protocol.

 

October 21, 2008 | Filed Under Blog | Leave a Comment 

MANIFEST MR. RIGHT WITH YIN and YANG DATNG STRATEGIES


Suddenly single again? Frustrated with dating? Wondering where the good men are? Discover seven crucial dating strategies that will turn things around!. Find out how to capture his attention, his heart, who should pay and why a positive belief about love and dating make all the difference in your success.

Saturday, October 18th 1– 2pm, Whole Heath Expo, North Hampton, MA
Clarion Hotel and Conference Center, I-91 exit 18, turn right off exit  
Visit www.WholeHealthExpo.com

October 17, 2008 | Filed Under Past Events | Leave a Comment 

How to Win at the Dating Game


Why are some women naturally good at meeting men, while others tend to struggle or avoid the whole thing? Like so much of life, dating is a game and if you don’t play, you can’t win. Discover the seven secrets to success in the dating game and how you can have a lot more fun. Learn savvy dating strategies and gain practical advice from a dating expert who knows the score. In this interactive class, you’ll even discuss a variety of dating scenarios to hone these social skills and find out what to do in a range of situations. You’ll be ready to get out there, meet lots of prospects and feel so much more in control of the process on the road to finding the love you want.

Thursday, October 16th, 7 – 9pm, Norwalk Community College, Norwalk, CT
To register, call 203-857-7080

October 16, 2008 | Filed Under Past Events | 2 Comments 

Sensitive Man Shell-Shocked by Criticism

 

This week I reconnected with an old boss. Mark is such a nice guy - always has been, always will be. We were talking marketing and copywriting, had a few laughs and then I made a comment on how he is such an easy going guy to which he replied, "Tell that to my ex wife."

Huh? Mark elaborated - seems after 20 years of marriage, he couldn’t take the criticism any more. Mark felt there was nothing he could do to please his wife. In fact, Mark says his wife’s own brother called her Ms. Impossible."  My empathy kicked in here.

Mark went on to tell me that after 5 years of toughing it out alone, he met a wonderful woman walking her dog in the park (another reason to get a dog). They are very compatible and he is often surprised by the fact that she actually likes his silly sense of humor. Alice will tell Mark how funny he is and appreciates his sense of humor among other things.

Mark shared how at first, when Alice complimented him about his jokes, he felt uncertain and might ask her "Really, you thought that was funny?" Does that just grip you in the gut? By the time his wife got through with him, Mark didn’t even know if his jokes were funny or stupid. (I find them funny myself but apparently she told him he was a buffoon) This is a sad statement demonstrating the extent of how shell-shocked Mark was from his marriage.

Now I wasn’t there to see their marital exchanges. Who knows what he did to irritate his wife to this point. But that wasn’t my first thought. My first thought was, "Oh oh, sometimes my husband makes a similar comment - "Nothing I do is good enough for you." I always deny this when it comes up because it’s completely not true from my perspective…. Paul does quite a bit that pleases me. But some how when I criticize him, it becomes this oversized comment that blankets everything he does, even if that is not what I said.

I shared this with Mark, and explained how I try to show my appreciation for all the good things in our marriage. But I couldn’t help feeling a little bit like my radar needs to be elevated to watch myself in this area.

It’s easy to be critical. Nothing gets done as well as when you do it yourself. But, if you don’t want to be BY YOURSELF, sometimes compromise, sensitivity, positioning and empathy are required. So many men are quite sensitive and don’t take criticism well. That doesn’t mean we can’t express ourselves or work to improve something.

However, it does mean that it’s worth taking stock of your language in your relationship.
  • How often do you complain to him?
  • How often do you criticize him?
  • How often do you praise him?
  • How often do you simply enjoy the man you are with in the way you did back at the beginning?
Please let me encourage you to take your own inventory. Be honest with yourself, if you start to recognize a pattern of criticism. And if you do find this, reach over and give your guy a kiss and a hug for absolutely no reason except that you have remembered why you love him and how lucky you are to be with such a good man.

 

October 16, 2008 | Filed Under Blog | 3 Comments 

e-Harmony - My Pet Peeve

One of my readers asked about e-Harmony again this week. Do they have a free coupon, what’s the best deal etc.My response has nothing to do with their promotional efforts. I haven’t a clue about that.

But here’s what I do know from talking with hundreds of women over 40. There are very few men on e-Harmony over the age of 40 on a percentage basis. I know women who were told they couldn’t find matches for them. Women who got matches from very long distances even though they requested closer proximity. Women who are angry, frustrated and highly disappointed.

How come you may ask? Shouldn’t it help to fill out this long questionnaire, and then get matched by a computer based on 29 areas of compatibility?
 
NO, not really.
 
Here are some of the problems.
 
1) Most men over 40 don’t want to fill out any personality questionnaire with over 400 questions. They just don’t want to do it and they don’t care about personality tests.

2) The commercials are totally targeted at women. Next time you see one, really pay attention. They show a few men alone, but hey don’t show the women alone except those who have already been matched. They have been created to appeal to women. No wonder there are fewer men on the site. And the commercials don’t’ show people over 40 either.

3) Just because they will show you matches for free doesn’t mean those men will be interested in you or respond. That’s why the match.com system of browsing is so much better. At least you can participate and look around.

4) Who says those 29 points of compatibility really work? How can we tell if they have any greater success rate than match.com or yahoo personals? Mostly hype if you ask me. Without the statistics, I’m not convinced.
 
If you really believe in e-Harmony and want to give it a chance - well go ahead. But I recommend also posting on a second large site to make sure you actually meet some men. If you put all your eggs in the e-harmony basket, you might come up empty handed. I’d hate to see that happen.
 
Don’t fall for the story. There’s very little harmony for most women over 40 who sign up. Do yourself a favor and pick another site where your chances of meeting a man go up exponentially.
 

 

October 15, 2008 | Filed Under Blog | 4 Comments 

Do You Hate Weddings? Turn Things Around with the Law of Attraction


Do you hate weddings? Are you sick of attending the nuptials of your friends and family? Do you dread the inevitable questions about when you’re going to settle down or marry again?

You are not alone. For so many single women, going solo to yet another knot-tying event is nothing short of stomach-turning. I myself retired early from accepting the so called honor of being a bridesmaid. I had no desire to be like the main character in the movie 27 Dresses.

But there is another way of looking at all this wedding fuss. If you are familiar with the Law of Attraction, you know that the way to get what you want is to embody that energy of what you want right now, as if it were actually happening to you today. Why? Because like attracts like. What better way to connect with the joy of marrying the man of your dreams then to attend a wedding ceremony?

Here’s how to turn around the wedding blues by applying the Law of Attraction:

1. At weddings, while you and other singles may feel unhappy, the couple is elated. - Raise your energy to match their excitement and happiness. Be happy for them and feel their happiness to make yourself energetically attractive.

2. Happily married couples who are guests, .are also likely to be happy because they remember their own festivities. Why not emulate their happiness too?

3. Many people just like a party so you can tap into that happy party feeling as well!

4  Keep in mind that if this particular couple managed to find each other, click, enjoy each other enough to want to get married, you can probably do it too! Use the scenario as a gleaming example of what is possible, for them AND for you as well.

When you make it your intention to become aware of the energy present and find ways to leverage it for your own manifesting plans, you are utilizing the Law of Attraction to it’s fullest. And that is a very wise way to be. When you find ways to feel happy, and turn around unpleasant situations to find the silver lining, you are right on track to managing your energy pattern. An elevated vibration regarding weddings is perfect to magnetically attract .your own wedded bliss.

Find a way to be happy for the newly weds. Find a way to enjoy the party. Find a way to imagine your own happiness in this situation, even if your future feels bleak - because if they got married, you probably can too. Leverage all of this energy, happiness and success to make yourself more attractive. Manifest the love and wedding you want and deserve.

I found love and married, many of my clients have done it, and I know deep in my heart, you can do it too.

 

October 13, 2008 | Filed Under Blog | Leave a Comment 

Six Ways to Get Past Your Resistance to Getting Started on the Dating Journey

You’ve been divorced for a while now, maybe a year, maybe a lot longer. Friends have asked you what you are doing to meet men, but you calmly reply, "Not much." And that’s OK, for a while. Not that everyone must have a new relationship. I understand how it’s not for everyone. But if you have plans of someday finding love again, may I gently inquire, "What are you waiting for?"
 
Believe it or, more time won’t make it any easier to get started. In fact, the longer you wait, the more non-dating inertia has a tendency to build up. This non-dating inertia is a very real concern. According to dictionary.com, Inertia means "Inactivity with regard to effort, action or motion." From physics you may remember that a body in motion in more likely to stay on motion, while a body at rest is more likely to stay…at rest! This is exactly why I recommend getting started and doing something to meet men.
 
Naturally there is a period of recovery after divorce. It’s very important to rebuild self-esteem and get clear on who you are and what works for you. But after that has been accomplished, how can you make the transition into the dating arena?
 
Well it differs from person to person. Try any of these options or all of them and see what happens. Just like the lottery, you can’t win if you don’t play! Have fun out there – yes it CAN be fun.
 

Take it Slow Options
1. Take it slowly.
Find a single friend and go to a singles dance. Smile and be friendly and don’t worry about meeting anyone special. Just practice being friendly and getting comfortable.
 
2. Start super slowly.
Look for events where you can meet new people, single or not. For example, if you are over 50, the Red Hat Society is for women of any marital status who want to get together and have fun. Meeting new women expands your social circle which is very positive and helpful.
 
3. The smallest possible step.
Put a date on your calendar for sometime in the future when come hell or high water you will definitely take a first step to meet new people. It can be helpful to give yourself this last little waiting period for some folks who have a lot of trepidation.

Hit the Ground Running Options 
4. Get moving now.
Look in the calendar section of your local paper and make a note of any events you want to attend.  Put them in your calendar and call to RSVP if required. Make a commitment and go!
 
5. Jump in!
Sign up for a speed dating event and show up. Remember, you might not meet anyone special the first time or two, but its fabulous flirting practice. Go with a smile on your face and a sense of adventure.
 
6. Launch your dating journey.
Start asking friends, family and then even colleagues and acquaintances if they know any single men. Simply say you’d like to meet someone and ask if they know of any appropriate single men. You’ll be surprised how happy 99% of the people are to give this some thought to help match you up.
 

October 9, 2008 | Filed Under Blog | Leave a Comment 

Your Opening Line Doesn’t Have to Be Rocket Science to Start a Conversation

 

Did you ever see a man in the grocery line who you wanted to talk to? Maybe he was in the line at the bank or even at a friend’s party. You struggle to come up with something to say. It feels like you can hear the clock ticking while you pray that your brain will finally kick in and come up with a clever question. Well, one thing I can tell you is that tit doesn’t need to be hard at all. In fact it can be amazingly simple and easy.
 
Here’s what happened to me this week. I was at the gas station standing by the pump waiting for it to register so I could fill my tank (well maybe put in $30.) On the other side of the pumps was a man in his 40’s probably, who sort of poked his head between the pumps from the other side, smiled and brightly said, "hello." Yeah, I was a little surprised by this. Not the usual way things go at the gas pump. But I said hello and smiled back.
 
Mr. Gas then moved to be in plain view but remained on his side of the pump. He smiled again and said, "Can you believe it’s October 1st already? I just heard on the radio how many it is until Christmas!"
 
As you can see, this is not rocket science, but it did work. I chatted with him briefly. It was a harmless, friendly exchange. Perhaps had I shown more interest, he might have pursued me further, but I’m not available.
 
The simplest comment or question about nothing much at all is the best way to break the ice. Don’t’ strain your brain rummaging around for a super funny, clever line. forget that. Too much pressure. And your inner critic will most likely shoot down anything you do manage to come up with any way.
 
I’ll give you a few starters so that you can get the idea:
 
What a beautiful day!
I love this time of year
Doesn’t the air smell good today?
The sky is really blue today.
Are you a Steelers fan? Did you see the game last night?
What a nice shirt
I’m so glad it’s Friday
 
You could come up with a few of these right? Keep a few in your mental back pocket so when you come in contact with men, you’ll have something to say without hanging back. You must strike while the iron is hot so to speak. hanging back and waiting will usually mean he got away before you uttered a syllable.
 
Most importantly, don’t pressure yourself into thinking this will turn into something. It’s just flirty conversation and great practice. The more you do it, the more comfortable you’ll get with the process. And it can actually be fun! What a novel idea, I know.
And you never know. I know a man who met his wife in the grocery store. She asked him to reach something on a top shelf for her. (One of my favorite tricks since I’m shy of 5 feet!)
 
Just start talking to people. Friendly people who are comfortable with themselves are very attractive and approachable. Make it easy for men and give it a whirl.

October 7, 2008 | Filed Under Blog | Leave a Comment 

Are you in the “No Zone” in your Thinking about Men?

 

Have you been out of circulation for a while? Yet you are reading dating blogs, articles in magazines and talking to your friends about finding a man.
 
Do you find yourself bemoaning the lack of men as a big topic of conversation with your girlfriends? Maybe you’re just out of practice and have been hiding a way as part of your recovery process from being hurt by your past relationship.
 
If any of this description sounds like you, you are in very good company. Women complain about men and want them simultaneously ALL THE TIME. Nothing new here.
 
Of course, from my perspective as a dating coach, I have an important question to ask you? Does any of this help you achieve your goal? Does complaining about men make you happy? I know it can be fun and create a bonding experience, but does it make you feel good?
 
I’d like to make a suggestion. Just for one week, seven little days, what if you start noticing how often men show up in your conversations in a negative way? You might be talking about how they disappoint you or how hard it Is to find one. Either way, start noticing your thoughts and discussions with other women. My bet is you’ll be surprised at the frequency the topic comes up.
 
Awareness is always the first step in making any shift. Once you are aware of the negativity, you can do something about it. What if for just three days, you work to not say anything negative about men? You can handle three days. Just 72 little hours and 24 you’ll be sleeping, so that’s really only 48 hours.
 
If you catch yourself veering off into the "no" zone, don’t worry or berate yourself. You are learning a new habit so notice it, be kind to yourself and then shift your thinking to something positive about men. I know you can come up with something. You might need to prepare a few good thoughts ahead of time in case you need to pull one out in a hurry.  Here are a few of my favorites:
 
Nothing like kissing a man who knows how to kiss.
There’s something so nice about having his arms around me.
Dancing with a man who can really move is so much fun!
 
You get the idea. If you are stuck in the negative zone in your thinking about men, it’s time for a change. Get out of that habit and work to form a new, more healthy way of thinking about men. Otherwise, you may be doomed to find all those flaws you focus on, because, as the saying goes, "Energy flows where attention goes." That’s an old Hawaiian Shaman saying meaning whatever you think about – that’s what will show up. It’s similar to the Law of Attraction.
 
Don’t put your energy into what you don’t want to experience! Instead shift your thinking to start believing men are wonderful and that it would be nice to find a good one. YOU CAN DO IT – THIS IS COMPLETELY POSSIBLE. I am proof positive and so many of my clients who have been successful finding the love of a good man. Think about what you like about men and you’ll start noticing that men seem to have those qualities. It’s true and it works.

October 3, 2008 | Filed Under Blog | Leave a Comment 

“THE SECRET” TO FINDING LOVE TODAY


How to Apply the Law of Attraction to Create the Love-Life You Want!
Are you suddenly single again and unsure where to start looking? Maybe you’ve been single for a while, but feel frustrated about your results. Don’t worry, The Secret can help. In this uplifting and information-packed workshop, you’ll learn how to apply the law of attraction to your love-life. You’ll also find out how to:

  • Adopt Dater’s Mind for greater success
  • Heighten your feminine allure and appeal
  • Connect with your Inner Goddess to build confidence
  • Flirt for the sheer fun of it
  • Meet more men than ever!
And, you’ll discover how to overcome courtship confusion with Yin and Yang Dating Philosophy plus loads of other practical dating advice that will make your efforts so much more fun and successful When the workshop is over, you’ll leave with surefire "Attraction Plan" and "Action Plan" to find the love you want!

Thursday, October 2nd   7– 9pm, Milford Adult Education, Milford, CT   
To register, call 203-783-3461


October 2, 2008 | Filed Under Past Events | 1 Comment 

Does Your Love Life Need a Bail Out Too?

Wouldn’t it be great if there was some higher source (not a political one though) who could swoop down and do something to straighten out your love life? Just like some Americans are hoping the government will bail out our financial system. Well the good new is - there is! You can rely on your higher self and depending upon your beliefs, your angels, your higher power, The Universe and even God himself/herself.

I am not being flippant at all. Instead, I am reminding you of how we can pray for assistance regarding any topic, including LOVE. The greater powers of the Universe want you to be happy. The good book even says, "Ask and you shall receive."  So what’s the hold up you may ask?

Well, the Law of Attraction states like attracts like. That means every time you say something bad about yourself, men, women, love, dating, and the state of relationships today, you will likely be working to attract more  of the same. More of what you don’t want! Huh?

The way the Law of Attraction works, you need to think positive thoughts about yourself and love. Positive thoughts about men and the state of relationships today. Positive thoughts about the world at large. Not such an easy task you — might be complaining already.

But what if you just do your best to monitor your thoughts and words? Start to notice how much time you spend complaining about love and berating the opposite s-e-x. Even if you spend just one day noticing the quantity of thoughts and words that are not supportive of your dreams or preferences, you’ll be very surprised.

Why is this? Well mostly because you are human. And in our modern society, we are not  taught how to shift our thinking. We aren’t taught about how crucial it is to protect our consciousness from outer negativity, as well as our own inner negativity. But awareness is the first step in any recovery process.

For the Law of Attraction to really work you need to BELEIVE that what you want is possible, and even probable. You need to have more thoughts supportive of this outlook than negative towards it.

So, is it your love life that needs bailing out, or your thought patterns? Most likely, with a bit of attention, concentration and commitment  to follow through, you will be able to turn both your thoughts and your love life around. I myself have done this on a number of different topics and I know so many otherswho have had success too.

It can be done and YOU CAN DO IT. Some things take more time than others but that doesn’t mean it won’t come too fruition. And who deserves to have what they want more than you?

During this time of turmoil and trouble, you could fall into worry and negativity. Given the news reports - its never been easier. But I am working on holding my focus more on what I want to happen, versus what I don’t want to happen. Worry never makes me feel better. But thinking about things that make me happy always feels good.

Do what you have to do of course. Be smart and take the steps you need. I’m not proposing throwing caution to he wind or not taking care of your daily needs. I am suggesting that when you notice negative thoughts rattling around in your brain, or catch yourself spewing a stream of negativity about politics, Wall Street, or the opposite s-e-x, take a moment and ask yourself the most powerful coaching question I know…

What would i rather be thinking?

Then follow up with - Is this line of thinking making me feel stronger and happier? If you answer NO, then start thinking about something else that will bring you the good feelings you want and keep the hope and belief alive that love is possible for you. Then take some steps to meet someone new.

 

October 1, 2008 | Filed Under Blog | Leave a Comment 

  • Free eBook

    The Kiss & Tell newsletter features dating success stories, dating tips, event news, product recommendations and much more!

  • MANifesting Mr. Right

    MANifesting Mr. Right

    Ronnie’s book, MANifesting Mr. Right has savvy advice to find the love you want. more>>

    Available for immediate download or in paperback.

  • Audio Programs

    Audio Programs
    Ronnie offers several audio programs to help you find the love you deserve including interviews with dating experts, love affirmations and dating tips.

  • Follow Ronnie

    Twitter Follow Ronnie
    onTwitter

    Twitter Join Ronnie
    on Facebook