Dating After Divorce: Are You a “Yes” Person or a “No” Person?

Recently I  saw a movie on TV with Jim Carrey called the Yes Man. As with many of his movies it was on the edge if not over.  He takes a personal development workshop and commits to saying “Yes” to literally everything. His life takes a  wild ride as a result, with many zany adventures.

Yet, when you think about it,  saying “Yes” might actually have a tremendous impact for the better on your dating life. This is particularly true if you are prone to saying “No” which  happens more frequently when dating after divorce or dating over 40.  I ask my dating coaching clients:

What Might You Say “Yes” To?
– A blind date with a friend’s brother
– Posting a profile on match.com
– Meeting someone you connected with on a dating site
– Going to a singles dance with a friend or even solo
– Trying speed dating
– Talking to a good looking stranger at a bar
– Having a coffee date with a new man
– Practicing your flirting skills
– Finding the right man for you and falling in love

That’s a powerful list with loads of possibilities.

On the other hand, when you say “No”, you limit yourself drastically. Being discerning is appropriate and a smart. But limiting your opportunities consistently,  minimizes the potential to achieve your desires.  This is true of dating and life.

When you say “No”, you are literally keeping yourself single. That’s OK if you prefer your single status.  But if you want to find a loving partner, saying “No” on a regular basis doesn’t serve you.

Have You Ever Said “No” to Any of These Questions:

- Can I have your number or email?
– Would you like to meet me for a drink?
– Would you like to dance?

I have.  I’ll never forget when I was 24, I was with my friend Nancy and her boyfriend Scott playing pool and this nice guy started talking to me and joined our game. As we were leaving he asked for my number.  I didn’t know what to do.  Should I give him the number of not? My friends said not to and I felt torn. I left without divulging my digits.

To this day I wonder about him. We had similar interests and he was easy to talk to. He seemed like a nice guy and he was a carpenter so he could build and fix things. It was a crossroads in my life. There was an ember ready to build into a potentially nice fire, and I snuffed it out.

What about When You say “No” to Yourself?

- I hate those singles dance!
– I won’t date a man who is balding.
– Men who are more than 3 years older than me are out.
– He’s nice but not my type.
– Blind dates just aren’t my thing.

When you say “Yes”, you allow the Universe to help you meet your match. When you meet lots of men, the right man has a chance to cross your path. When you say “Yes” to situations and men, you are a pleasure to be with,  living more fully and believe that all this effort will pay off.

And it will! It worked for me. It’s worked for millions of women.

Just for Today, Catch Yourself When You Say “No”
Say “Yes” at least once when you want to say “No.” You can become a “Yes” person and you can find the love you want. People find love everyday.  Say “Yes” and you could be next!

Photo Credit: TeenNow