For some singles, the holiday season is the worst time of year. Answering awkward questions from prying relatives. Going to things solo. Not having someone to kiss at midnight on New Year’s Eve. I was single at 40. I remember vividly the sadness and disappointment.
Yet, this is supposed to be the season of hope and a time when people renew their belief in miracles.
How can you get in on the miracles? How can you leverage the season for your own love life turn around?
It starts with believing. A deep inner knowing that the plan for you does not require you to be single. Instead the plan is for you to be in a loving, healthy relationship. According to many religious traditions, life’s lessons are best learned in relationship. So, for you to be in a relationship could actually be thought of as a “given”. What would that be like to believe that a loving relationship for you is not only possible, but appropriate and part of the cosmic plan?
Now you’re starting to think. The wheels are turning. A tiny ember starts burning, smoldering. And you know the old adage, “Where there is smoke, there is fire.” The fire of passion. The fire of commitment. The commitment to making a loving relationship a reality in your life. 2011 could be your year for love.
You can fight your perception of the odds, the doubters, the man-haters, the well-meaning, yet unsupportive family members who bring you down. Even your own inner demons.
Harness any negative emotions and bend them to work for you by strengthening your resolve. Get serious. Get committed to your love life. Shore up your beliefs.
So, even though this season can be tough emotionally, you can turn that around. Yes you can. You can use the good cheer of the season to your own advantage. Open up to those bell-ringing believers and capture some of their holiday hope. Think of jolly St. Nick, with his traditional Ho Ho Ho, and turn that into Ho, Ho, HOPE for your love life.
For some of my dating over 40 coaching clients, you will need to spend more time on building your belief in yourself and the idea of love. For others, you’ll need to meet a lot more men. And there are still others who will need to open their hearts to men rather than having disdain for the entire gender. You probably know what the best focus is for you, beyond strengthening your core belief in love.
The church picked the timing to celebrate Christmas to coincide with the Pagan holiday of Yule – which falls on the winter solstice. This is the shortest day of the year and the holiday welcomes the sun, symbolizing male energy, back to earth. From this day forward, the amount of sunlight increases on a daily basis.
As it turns out, based on the most ancient of belief systems, the current-day holiday is perfectly positioned for you to personally welcome masculine energy – and the love of a good man back into your life.
My Ho Ho Ho-pe for you is that you will leverage the season. Make it work for you. Take advantage of the energy, history, and symbolism. Believe. Open your mind, eyes and heart to men again. Good men. The right man for you. As I share with each one of my dating coaching clients, he is out there, waiting to cross your path. Help him find you on the inner and outer path.
Wishing you love this holiday season,
Ronnie Ann Ryan – Your Dating Coach