Dear Ronnie – The Dating Coach for Women,
I’ve been seeing some guy for 4 months now, and we have had some really good times together. Although, the past few weeks have been really rocky between us and I think its because I chased him too much. how can I make things better between us? Should I leave him for a while or should I try talk to him and sort things out – even if I know this could push him away more?
–Wanting him back in Cleveland
Sorry to hear you are having trouble. Yeah, chasing a guy is not the best strategy for winning him over. What works best is to follow a man’s lead. That way you‘ll know how interested he is.
As a dating coach for women over 40, I tell clients all the time not to chase men. When you do this, you take over his job. It’s the man’s role to pursue down to his DNA. This is biology we’re talking about. Even though we have achieved much equality in the work place, dating has not caught up. But honestly, it works better this way.
If you say thank you and are appreciative of his efforts, if you are available for dates or provide alternative options, if you are warm, friendly and make him feel good about his choices – that’s how you let a man know you like him. Observing what he’ll do to win you over is how you know his interest level in you.
Since it sounds like your guy is pulling back, do not lean forward. Your best bet at this point is to relax. Sit back and let him come to you. If he doesn’t – that tells you something. And, if he does come for you – then you know he’s interested and did this because he wants you. When men take action without your prodding, it’s so much more meaningful.
The chase is still alive. Being a dating coach for over nine years now, I’ve seen this scenario repeat itself over and over again. If you want to win the dating game, learn to play follow the leader. This doesn’t make you a door mat – it makes you a wise, strategic woman who knows how to get what she wants.
Hope things work out!
Wishing you love,
Photo Credit: Zaid Balushi