According to the second annual Singles in America Survey conducted on behalf of Match.com, only 12.7% of singles today are actively looking for a relationship! Can you believe that?
As a dating coach for women, I find this number shocking. And yet, maybe not when I really think about it. Over the last 10 years I’ve heard it all so here’s another statistic that more accurately reflects my professional experience. Nearly half of American singles (46.8%) would “consider” a relationship if they met the right person. However, they aren’t doing anything about it!
I cannot tell you how many people don’t want to be bothered looking for love. They claim they don’t know where to look or how to get started, or even more amazing, don’t know how to be friendly with the opposite sex.
Sadly, this is the statistic I see play out which explains why so many women and men remain single.
If you are one of these people who would like to have love in your life, but aren’t motivated to seek it out, let me share an extremely important fact:
Love isn’t like spontaneous combustion, bursting into flames on its own. Even with Valentine’s Day approaching, Cupid doesn’t simply draw his bow to magically bring love to your doorstep. If you want love, YOU HAVE TO DO SOMETHING TO FIND IT!
I call this the Lazy Lover Syndrome and while I knew it was prevalent, I had no idea that nearly half the US population felt this way. Even last night I spoke with a client who asked me why she had to flirt and be friendly. After all, isn’t it the man’s job to pursue her?
There it is in a nutshell – Lazy Lover Syndrome. “Why do I have to do anything?” There is an incredibly simple explanation. If you want love, then it’s up to you to attract and find it. You have to be actively engaged in the dating process. At the very least, you have to get out to meet new people so you can cross paths with the men who might be looking for a woman like you right? He won’t find you on your couch!
While it’s my job to help formulate your dating plan, find ways to keep you feeling positive, and unravel the confusion and mystery that constitutes dating, I cannot “make” you do anything. I cannot motivate you to become an active dater.
But, there is extremely good news that these statistics deliver. This is the silver lining I promised you in the headline:
With such a small portion of the population looking for love, you now have far less competition than you ever dreamed!
That’s right – think about it. With 17% in relationships, and only 13% actively seeking, that leaves 70% of the other women out of the dating pool! I would hope that makes you feel a lot better about your chances of finding love. Because IF you are willing to get out there to meet people, statistically, you have very few women to compete with. (Even if it doesn’t “look” this way.)
Love is worth it! As my matchmaker friend Nicole LeClerc from Compatibles in Vermont often says, “No one looks back after finding love at their dating experience to say, ‘That was a waste of time!’ “The truth is, once you find love, you know that everything you went through to make that connection was completely worthwhile. I found love over 40 which is why I KNOW you can do it too.
Photo Credit: Aunt Owwee’s