Do you watch the Real Housewives of Atlanta on Bravo TV? This season has been something else! From this dating coach’s perspective, watching Real Housewife Kenya angle for a marriage a proposal from her boyfriend Walter has been chilling to say the least.
All the wives planned a romantic trip to Anguilla with their partners. (Not all the “wives” are actually married!) They were discussing the trip at a lunch in front of Kenya, so she asked if she was invited.
Not wanting to be left out, Kenya decided to go with everyone and bring Walter. Once on the island the debacle began. Kenya started making her pitch to Walter about how romantic the trip was and how nice it would be to elope and get married while they were there. She tried to make it easy, letting him know a fancy ring wasn’t needed right away. It would just be so much easier than planning a whole big wedding. Keep in mind the couple was not even engaged.
How did Walter respond? He smiled nervously and sort of giggled/snickered. No real answer. He might have said something like “Oh that would be nice huh?” just repeating what she had said in a non-committal, holy sh-t sort of way. And he never said much more.
Later, when Kenya and other women were getting messages, NeNe (star of Real Housewives, Glee and now The New Normal) asked her about Walter, remarking that they didn’t seem like a couple in her eyes. Naturally Kenya was put off by NeNe’s comment. She said she knew how to get a ring out of Walter. But, does she really? I think not. NeNe could see the truth for sure.
If Kenya knew anything about men, she would know that pushing Walter to get married, without even being engaged, while on TV was not going to work! The woman has no game, no finesse and absolutely no feminine charm.
You cannot push a man into anything. Well, maybe you can push some men, some of the time. But ultimately, this type of thing doesn’t work out well. If a man feels backed into a corner for commitment, he will do anything to squirm out of it. But let’s go deeper. Why would you want to marry a man you had to pressure or beg to marry you?
Let’s give Kenya the benefit of the doubt. maybe she just didn’t know any better and thought to herself, “What the hell, I’m going for it!” Well, you didn’t need to be a body language expert to see how uncomfortable Walter was with the idea of getting married. Yet, that did not stop Kenya. In several more scenes, she tried again and again to sweetly coerce her beau into getting hitched on the island. She was outrageously relentless to no avail.
Walter wasn’t having it. Finally, he plainly and loudly told her he was not going to be pressured into getting married. Kenya questioned why he was yelling at her and Walter explained that he was not yelling, but he did want her to “hear” him. He’s not getting married. End of story.
This is one of the sad story . In the most recent episode of the Real Housewives of Atlanta, the couple went fishing and she started questioning what they were doing together. She wanted to know if he even found her attractive and how thing had been strained since their return to Atlanta. He agreed things were strained. She exclaimed she dint’ like the way he was treating her. Off screen, she told the camera that she was done with Walter.
Now, would Walter have ever married her? Maybe not. Maybe he wanted to be on TV. Maybe he liked her but wasn’t that into her. Maybe he never wants to marry anyone. Unfortunately, we will never know the truth from Walter’s lips. You might say, “She’s better off without him! He wasn’t going to marry her anyway and now she knows.” OK that’s possible.
However, what if he wanted marrying her to be his idea? What if she had broached the subject to get them talking about this, but didn’t push for tying the knot while on vacation on TV?
As a dating coach and a woman, here’s what I know about men. Yes, you often have to ask for what you want from a man. But badgering, pressuring, and demanding will never work for you in the long run. And it doesn’t bode well for your relationship. Even with ultimatums, you better be serious that he needs to commit or you’ll leave. Because if you pull that act, and then back down when he doesn’t deliver, oh honey you’ll never have a minute of leverage in that relationship again.
Kenya – I hope you learn something from this situation. You can bring a horse to water, but you cannot make him drink. Instead, try your feminine charm so your man wants to drink the water and the two of you will be much happier together.