This week I sent out an email sharing eight places to meet single men. Here’s the video link. But I didn’t recommend traditional places were you can find singles. Instead, I suggested other places where you are bound to meet men, but won’t be sure they are single. I called these men “unqualified” for that very reason – they don’t qualify as single, but they might be.
One of my readers sent me back an email asking me, “Why on earth would I want to meet “unqualified” men? I want to meet qualified bachelors.”
There are actually four reasons (maybe more) why, as a single woman in midlife, you want to know where to find men in general.
1. Men Aren’t Joiners – As men get older, they tend to be less socially active. Not all men, but the majority. That’s why you see so few men at singles events. There is often a 60/40 or sometimes 70/30 ratio of women to men. The reason? Men don’t join things at the same rate as women do.
So when my dating advice often includes places like singles dances, speed dating (which requires an equal male/female ration), Meetup.com groups, etc. However, women go and then complain there aren’t enough men at these events. BINGO! That’s why you want to be able to meet unqualified men as well to make sure you meet enough men to find the right one for you.
Matchmakers have the same problem in getting men to join up and most have the same 70/30 ratio which is why so many women get angry with their matchmaker. Not enough male inventory. Again the solution – meet men in other places.
2. Single Men Are Online – This is the one exception when it comes to men being willing to join things. They are online in droves, especially over 40. It just feels more private to them rather than having everyone at a singles event watching them interact with the ladies. I’m a big proponent of online dating for this very reason. But if you’ve been doing online dating, sometimes you want to mix things up or take a break. The solution – meet men in other places.
3. Flirting Face to Face is Fun – It’s a lot easier to flirt when you are face-to-face with men. To do that, you have to know where the men are! A lot of my clients don’t feel comfortable just going to a bar. That’s why I suggested boat and car shows, historical re-enactments, sports bars, driving ranges and golfing, among others to interact with men.
4. Anyone Could Be Your Magic Connection to Love – Plus, you never know who you will meet when you go out. You could meet a man who knows the perfect guy for you or a woman who knows someone. The more people you meet, the bigger your social circle, the better your chances of finding love. My last reason to meet unqualified men.
So there you have it, my best dating advice – meet lots of men. The more guys you meet, the more confident you become. Your skills improve and you start to relax. You take the pressure off yourself or any particular event because you know – there are always more men. There is always another event or place to find guys.
This is one circumstance where more is better. So go ahead, meet those unqualified guys. One of them could be your Mr. Right. Or he might know a guy for you. Don’t restrict yourself to one method because ultimately, it limits your opportunities when what you want most is to expand your chances to find love.
Want more dating advice or need the inspiration and methods to meet more men and find love? Join my Love Mastermindwhich starts Monday march 11 at 8pm est. With monthly group coaching by phone and a private check-in, you ‘ll get the suppot ansd wisdom you need to find love faster than you can going it alone. People who get coaching achieve their goals so much faster! Learn more here.
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