Singles in America Survey

According to the second annual Singles in America Survey conducted on behalf of Match.com, only 12.7% of singles today are actively looking for a relationship! Can you believe that?

As a dating coach for women, I find this number shocking. And yet, maybe not when I really think about it. Over the last 10 years I’ve heard it all so here’s another statistic that more accurately reflects my professional experience. Nearly half of American singles (46.8%) would “consider” a relationship if they met the right person. However, they aren’t doing anything about it!

I cannot tell you how many people don’t want to be bothered looking for love. They claim they don’t know where to look or how to get started, or even more amazing, don’t know how to be friendly with the opposite sex.

Sadly, this is the statistic I see play out which explains why so many women and men remain single.

If you are one of these people who would like to have love in your life, but aren’t motivated to seek it out, let me share an extremely important fact:

Love isn’t like spontaneous combustion, bursting into flames on its own. Even with Valentine’s Day approaching, Cupid doesn’t simply draw his bow to magically bring love to your doorstep. If you want love, YOU HAVE TO DO SOMETHING TO FIND IT!

I call this the Lazy Lover Syndrome and while I knew it was prevalent, I had no idea that nearly half the US population felt this way. Even last night I spoke with a client who asked me why she had to flirt and be friendly. After all, isn’t it the man’s job to pursue her?

There it is in a nutshell – Lazy Lover Syndrome. “Why do I have to do anything?” There is an incredibly simple explanation. If you want love, then it’s up to you to attract and find it. You have to be actively engaged in the dating process. At the very least, you have to get out to meet new people so you can cross paths with the men who might be looking for a woman like you right? He won’t find you on your couch!

While it’s my job to help formulate your dating plan, find ways to keep you feeling positive, and unravel the confusion and mystery that constitutes dating, I cannot “make” you do anything. I cannot motivate you to become an active dater.

But, there is extremely good news that these statistics deliver. This is the silver lining I promised you in the headline:

With such a small portion of the population looking for love, you now have far less competition than you ever dreamed!

That’s right – think about it. With 17% in relationships, and only 13% actively seeking, that leaves 70% of the other women out of the dating pool! I would hope that makes you feel a lot better about your chances of finding love. Because IF you are willing to get out there to meet people, statistically, you have very few women to compete with. (Even if it doesn’t “look” this way.)

Love is worth it!  As my matchmaker friend  Nicole LeClerc from Compatibles in Vermont often says, “No one looks back after finding love at their dating experience to say, ‘That was a waste of time!’ “The truth is, once you find love, you know that everything you went through to make that connection was completely worthwhile. I found love over 40 which is why I KNOW you can do it too.

Photo Credit: Aunt Owwee’s

The Dating Goddess

I read a great post on the Dating Goddess’s blog about what language choice has to say about who your date is. I think there is a lot of information in how a person expresses him or herself and much that we can learn.

The Dating Goddess (DG) is a very successful business consultant whose work takes her around the world. She’s also an award winning blogger on the topic of dating. As an independent woman she brings up this very interesting topic and shares how she prefers that men make requests rather than issue commands. Overall, I tend to agree.

DG shares an example out of song that plays during a workout from her gym. The line in the song says” Slide on over here baby” which in terms of English structure is a command vs. a request. The lyric doesn’t ask the woman to slide over, but tells her directly what he wants. DG points out that some women might consider this a request because the woman doesn’t have to do as he says -  she is free to choose to comply or not.

In addition, the Dating Goddess admits there is a sliding scale on commands. In other words, a couple of commands can be endured, but there is a tipping point when this type of communication becomes unappealing. Agreed! She also acknowledges that some might think a man asking a question is not as masculine. Depends on the command and how its delivered.

Here’s my response to DG and I’d love to hear what you think as well so please share below.

*****

DG – I agree that you can tell a lot about a person from their use of language. I also think there’s a time and place for everything.

Instead of your “slide on over here baby” example, let’s look at a different one. What if a man asks, “Can I kiss you?” Some women might be fine with that. However, many would feel awkward. They’d prefer he just took a shot to kiss rather than making them say “Yes” first before he plants his lips.

I get it that independent women don’t want to be ordered around. I love the line from an old favorite movie “Working Girl” with Melanie Griffith. She yells at her boyfriend, telling him, “I am not steak. You cannot just order me.” (I know that’s close).

On the other hand, many independent women want a man who is an alpha male; a man who can lead, take charge, and – act like a man. Is it realistic to expect an alpha male to be ultra considerate and rephrase all his thoughts as requests?

To me, if a good man get’s it right most of the time, let’s cut him a little slack and “slide over”.  All relationships require some compromise right?

*****

As a dating coach, here are three things I want you to think about:

1. How do you communicate your preferences? What’s good for the gander is good for the goose right?
2. You can more flies with honey – an old adage that holds true today more than ever since everyone is in such a hurry. A little sweetness can go a long way.
3. Everyone is entitled to a few nitpicks and quirks. However, what might you lighten up on to leave yourself more room for a man to appeal?

When Sparks Fly and There's Electricity

Dear Ronnie the Dating Coach for Women,

I am 40, and newly single. I’ve been seeing a man for about a month and I broke all your rules, but he is still calling me. At least for now. Things have definitely been cooling off. When we met, it was all electricity and we both felt it. So I am really sad to see such a strong connection go to waste. Especially if there is hope to rekindle it.

So, I am wondering if the “hard to get” part can be started this late in the game? I’ve never been good at these games and am out of practice now. So some advice would be most welcome.

Thanks so much, Carla for CO

Hi Carla,

Well that’s a very good question.  Can things be rekindled later in the game? I must admit I’m not sure and don’t really have enough information.

One thing Id like to clarify is the point of the “game” is not to manipulate. It plays to the heart of relationships. As I share with all my dating coaching clients,  humans tend to want what is not readily available. I’m not into game playing or head games. That’s immature and a waste of time. But, I am into smart dating that makes the most of your efforts.

So, when you don’t call a man and wait for his call, you are less available. You don’t invade his space and he has time to miss you.  If  you are busy but you don’t cancel your plans to see him, he learns to respect your time and sees that it’s as valuable as his. Then telling him when you are available, helps him know you are still interested.

It’s a game of human nature. When you avoid the game and act in a direct fashion, men often are not as interested because there is no challenge; no chase. A man gets invested in you when he needs to take steps to win you over. Do you see how this works?

Of course this isn’t true of every single man, but it’s hard to know upfront which are like this and which aren’t. Best to just follow what I call the “ballroom dancing theory of dating”. Allow the man to lead.

So, after one month, can you still do this? Perhaps.

If you were calling him and texting him a lot, stop. If you ask him out, stop. Wait to see what he does on his own. You can respond to anything he does, but try not to initiate. If this is drastically different from how you’ve been handling things, he may wonder what’s going on. Since it sounds like he has already been pulling away, let him go to see what happens. If you are less available and he is still interested, he may come back for more. Hard to say.

But one thing I know for sure is that chasing him to get things back the way they were is a complete and total waste of time.  Having worked with thousands of women as a dating coach, I can tell you right now that will not work. When a relationship that was steamy at first, starts to fizzle, its often because it was built only on sexual chemistry. The connection doesn’t have much more sticking power once that becomes routine.

For a lasting, loving relationship, you  need more than chemistry to make things work. Next time look for more signs of compatibility beyond the electricity you mentioned. That’s fun and exciting, but sadly as you are experiencing, it usually dissipates quickly.

Wishing you love,
Ronnie

Photo Credit: Qualsiasi

Don't Chase Men

Dear Ronnie the Dating Coach for Women over 40,

I have an interest for this guy who also works for the same company, but in a different building. He’s tall, dark and handsome just the way I like them. The only thing is, he is really shy. We have gone for coffee and it went well, but I don’t think he is looking for the same thing I am.

I want a relationship and marriage. I don’t know what he thinks of me and I am not sure he likes me or finds me attractive. I am curvy and sometimes men don’t like that. So, my question is, how do I get to know how he feels or what he thinks without scaring him? I don’t want to chase him like I’ve done in the past with other guys. But, it seems that if I don’t initiate an email or phone call, I never hear from him.

Tired of Waiting in WA

Hi Tired of Waiting,

As a dating coach for women, I share my insights and knowledge collected from 9 years doing this work, reading everything in sight and working with thousands of people. It is from this place that I can tell you, if a man is interested, if he likes you , if he wants to date you, he will do what is necessary to make that happen.

In other words, there is really nothing you can do to find out if Mr. AtWork likes you. Truth is, there is nothing going on. If he wanted to date you, he would pursue you. It’s that simple. Yes, there are shy men, but they also know what to do. Like Greg Berhandt says in his best selling book, “He’s just not that into you.”

He is probably a nice guy, so when you text or call, he does respond. But he never takes up the initiative or starts anything on his own. This is your clear signal to move on.

Since you went for coffee with him, and he hasn’t followed up, I recommend moving on. Look to connect with other men who are more motivated to date, more interested in you, or BOTH!

There are so many great single guys out there. Build up your flirting skills, smile and be friendly. Men are everywhere and there is definitely more than one good man who will find you attractive and be a good match. Please don’t waste time on the wrong guy.

Wishing you love,

Ronnie

Rely on your Feminine Charm

I’m 52 years old and I look rather young for my years.  I haven’t had a date since my divorce 4 1/2 years ago.  No so much as a phone call.  I have tried Match.com and e-harmony with no luck.   I still haven’t found one prospect for love.

I was told by a friend that I look like I don’t need anything because of the way I dress and the car I drive.  My reaction was “huh?” You mean to tell me I’m suppose to look needy before anyone will find me attractive or a worthy person to date?

Please help,
Feeling Perplexed

Dear Perplexed,

There is a big difference between being needy and being open and welcoming. Many independent, self sufficient women wear this badge of honor proudly. It’s great to be able to take care of yourself, but this is not a quality that will attract a man. Men don’t want you to be needy, but they do want to feel needed. Men want to know there is room in your life for them.

A certain degree of vulnerability is required to connect with the right man at the heart level. If you are all about success and independence, this can be a surprising turn off to men.

You see, men don’t want to compete with you. They compete at work when their alpha male comes into play. A successful man fights battles for success on a daily basis. So later, when he wants to spend time with a woman, he doesn’t want more of the same energy. He wants his opposite, his compliment. He wants to be with a feminine woman.

If you are an alpha women, successful in business, knowing how to shake, rattle and roll, that’s great. But most alpha men won’t find this attractive. However, even an alpha woman can learn to let her beta gal out for romance.

The key is to learn how to let the man lead initially. At least in the beginning of the courtship, get to know you phase. For at least 4-10 dates, think of dating like ball room dancing. There’s only one leader in ballroom dancing and one follower. You can’t have two leaders – you’ll be in a power struggle. And two followers of course go absolutely nowhere.

What does letting the man lead look like? Let him ask for your number. If he gives you his, tell him you don’t call men or prefer to have men call you. Don’t follow up like you do in business – there is no follow up in dating for the woman. That is the man’s job. Don’t ask him out, call to see how he is, text or email frequently.

Instead, give him space to come to you. Then respond with the same amount and frequency. Mirror his actions.

When a man pursues you, he gets invested in winning you over. If you chase him – what’s the fun in that? Where’s the challenge for him? It becomes boring when you serve yourself up on a silver platter. Most men, especially alpha males DO NOT WANT TO BE PURSUED.

Net take away here is DO NOT DO A MAN’S WORK FOR HIM. If you want a man to get the ball rolling, leave the ball in his court and let him pick it up. This is the only way you will ever know how interested he is in you. A man who does the work to get your number, call you , set up the date, and pay is often a man who is truly interested.

Of course there are other thresholds he’ll have to cross to prove his intent. Things like consistency of his actions and words, frequency of calls and dates, and if he comes on strong and then seems to fade away for no reason. But that is for another discussion.

My advice to you as it is for women dating over 40 and women dating after divorce is to learn to rely on your feminine charm. Smile at him, be warm and friendly, make him feel good by listening, offering sparing compliments and letting him know you appreciate him and had a good time. As a woman – that is your job.

You seem like a smart cookie. I have faith in you that you can learn to heighten your feminine charm to capture a man’s attention. This is one of the main things I coach women on in private coaching and group work. So let me know if I can help!

Wishing you love,
Ronnie – The Dating Coach

Photo Credit: FilmResearch

The Age-Old Question Continues – Why Didn’t He Call?

Today I had a possible new client call me. Sandy is 32 and very well versed in today’s top dating books and self help gurus. Mention a book title or hot program to her  – Sandy knows all about it. I applaud her well-researched and in-depth wealth of knowledge.

Knowing Everything Isn’t Helping Sandy
As it turns out, she called to test me to see if I’d sound the same as all those books she’s read and all the dating strategies she’s become familiar with. Unfortunately, she found me to be aligned with what many experts have to say. (I’m not surprised – great minds think alike!)

The fact that I agreed with other experts was very disappointing for Sandy. She desperately wanted to hear something different about her situation with “this guy.” She wanted me to say it was OK to call him.

Can I Call Him? - The Background

Sandy met Ted at her friend Barb’s party. Barb had told Ted about Sandy, putting in a good word and hoping they’d hit it off. Ted and Sandy did talk for quite a while at the party and he asked for her email address. Next day, Ted emailed Sandy, asking her out for coffee. They emailed all week with details and chatter.

When they met, they decided to go for a walk. it was  beautiful day. Then they went for coffee. next, since it was so nice they went for another walk. Then he suggested going back to his place which Sandy did. She said he was an absolute gentleman.

Ted said he had a nice time and they should do it again. Sandy thanked him and left smiling, looking forward to more. It’s been over three weeks and Sandy hasn’t heard from Ted. This is why Sandy was SO disappointed in my advice which boiled down to the fact that she is not likely to ever hear from him again.

What did Sandy want me to tell her that none of the books and other experts seem to say in their strategies and text-book advice as she called it? Sandy wanted me to say that she should call him and get him to ask her out again.

That sort of advice will never come out of my mouth! As a dating coaching for women, it’s my job to share my years of experience, knowledge, insights and objective observations. That’s why people pay me – for genuine, savvy, knowledgeable advice that is on target, practical and simple to follow.

Sandy Made Numerous Dating Mistakes:

1. Do NOT over stay your welcome. Maybe Ted is one of those nice guys who didn’t know how to end the date. Have the good sense to drink you coffee, or go for a walk, say thank you and exit. For goodness sakes, leave a man wanting more.

2. Do NOT enter a man’s home, even if he’s a friend of a friend, before you know and trust him. This is just not safe.

3. I don’t recommend going for a walk unless its a busy, well-populated place. Don’t go walking in the woods as a dating activity unless there are a lot of other people all around. This is another obvious safety precaution.

4. Do NOT waste weeks hoping a guy will call you. Even 10 days is dicey. If a man waits that long to contact you for another date, or worse still, just to chat, he’s not a good candidate for long-term romance.Dating, finding love or maybe you, are not likely to become his top priority ever.

5. Do NOT make excuses for a man who is “busy”. Busy men know what they have to  do to gain your attention and affection. Even if he’s traveling, he’ll contact you to keep the flame burning. He’ll be thinking about you, curious about you and wanting to know you better. That will drive him to connect

Here’s an Example from My Own Life
My husband is a reserved, shy, and laid-back guy. Yet, Paul had no problem asking me for date two at the end of date one. Trust me, men know exactly what to do if they want to see you. And waiting three weeks is NOT the way to go if he likes you.

I offered this perspective to Sandy, but she let me know that she already knows all that. She knows it all, yet hung up frustrated, confused and feeling bad. My heart goes out to Sandy because she rather believe all the experts are wrong about Ted. We know better right?

Photo Credit: Ollily

7 Ways You Push Men Away

How come men approach some women and not others? Do you watch men swarm around one or two “special” women at an event and wonder what their secret is? They might be flirting and radiating feminine charm and confidence to attract men. But, what if they just aren’t doing things that push men away?

Read over this list of “Don’ts” to see if you might be doing any of these behaviors that turn men off and make you appear less attractive in the moment.

1. Don’t hang out with a group of women when you are going out to meet men.

Men are very unlikely to approach a big group of women. Even three women together can be intimidating. Men don’t like to be rejected or ridiculed, and the risk for ridicule is high when you are with other women. Think about it – men know you talk about them.

If you are going out for a night of mingling with men, and you insist on going with several girlfriends, then split up from time to time and walk around alone. This will give men a chance to approach you when you are unaccompanied by others.

2. Don’t hang out with a male friend when you are trying to meet men.

If it looks like you are with a man, other men will probably not bother approaching you. They don’t want to get into a territory war or confront another man. There are plenty of other women they can talk to, so there go your chances to meet men that night.

It might seem like hanging with your guy friend makes you look more attractive, but he’s actually getting in your way.  If you want to spend time with him, go ahead and enjoy it. Just know that your friendship with him is the agenda for that night versus trying to meet new guys.

3. Don’t look unavailable or deep into what you are doing.

Sometimes you want to concentrate on surfing the net or reading a book. Nothing wrong with that. But if you are spending time at Starbucks so you can potentially meet guys, look up frequently and scan the room so you appear more approachable. men don’t want to interrupt you and get a quick rejection because you  are too busy to talk with them.

4. If you are at a singles event, don’t sit down.

Once you sit down at a table, your chances of meeting men absolutely plummet. You are now out of the way and hard to get to. Once again, there are plenty of other women to approach. Don’t make gaining access to you difficult or a challenge. Stand in a high traffic area or near the dance floor so the men can pop by and chat you up.

5. Don’t go to the ladies room with a group of gals either.

Headed for the ladies room? Go alone sweetheart. That is a primo opportunity for a man to approach you and believe me, they know this. When you go with a girlfriend or a group, you have blown your chances of him even thinking about getting your attention.

Now I realize that going with the girls is a fun habit. You can whisper in the private women’s sanctuary about all the men you’ve been eyeing. So let me ask you this: Would you rather meet men or talk about them in the bathroom? Hey, you can talk about them on the way home! Don’t miss your opportunity to connect and make the most of the moment.

Here are two quick success stories about this tip:

I met  (and then dated) a really hot guy as I exited the ladies room at a singles dance one time. He was number 28 of the 30 guys I dated on the way to finding and marrying my husband.  I also have a client who met her boyfriend of three years the very same way.

6. Don’t wear a big cocktail ring on your left hand.

OK, maybe you think I’m being silly, but I just read about this. Some guys shy away from a woman with a ring, any ring on the fourth finger of her left hand. No kidding. Especially a big diamond ring. I know you love those diamonds, but when you go out to meet men, wear some other gems stone. And keep those rings off your wedding finger.

It’s not really such a big sacrifice is it? The things we do for fashion are great – but don’t sacrifice male attention too.

7. Don’t look away when you notice a man looking at you.

The purpose of flirting is to acknowledge a man and let him know non-verbally that you see him.  He is hoping for that acknowledgment so he can possibly walk over to strike up a conversation. But, if you look away at break-neck pace, you’ve just sent him the message that you are not open, approachable or interested.

I understand – sometimes you aren’t interested. I get it. But here’s what you need to think about. It’s not only that one guy who is probably taking a quick peak at you from time to time. Other men are watching too. And when they see you being unfriendly, looking down and avoiding eye contact, your desirability index drops like a hot potato.

You’ve got to push yourself to learn to flirt and the two most basic elements are maintaining eye contact for just 2-3 seconds along with a smile when you notice a man looking at you. That’s it! And you have nothing to worry about. There is no promise in flirting. it’s just a fun spontaneous, delightful way to interact with men and let them feel good.

When you smile at a man, you make his day. He’ll feel good and then you’ll feel good. Take a  shot at it, get good at it and make a man’s day so yours will be fun and memorable too.

Avoid These Mistakes to Improve Your Dating Results

If you can avoid these seven deadly mistakes that push men away, you will automatically up your stock and find more men taking the risk to meet you. I know these tips have been proven time and time again, because besides the ton of social research that’s been conducted, my clients share their success and failure stories as well.

The success stories make everyone happier, so follow these tips for your own dating success.

Photo Credit: Ed Yourdon

Dating Deal Breakers

Do you have a list of dating deal breakers? These are things about a man that you won’t tolerate. I hope you do, but if not, it’s time to make one up.

This isn’t a list of the 40 irritating things guys have done in your past. These are the narrow few, completely intolerable behaviors which you never want to experience again in this life time.

Let me get you started with a few items that you might want to avoid. These are based on bad experiences you’ve had that you don’t want to repeat.

1. Under-handed behaviors (lying, cheating, etc.)
2. Addictive habits (too much smoking, drinking, gambling)
3. Lazy, coach potato
4. Broke, unemployed and not looking (it’s different if he’s looking)
5. Disrespectful or abusive
6. Trouble with the law
7. Not emotionally available
8. Performance issues (untreated ED, etc.)
9. Stingy, bigoted, opinionated, etc.

That covers most major infractions.

Now the chances that you’ve encountered all of these things is extremely low. So don’t put them all on your list. Just choose the  ones that you have encountered. And feel free to put something on your list that I didn’t mention.

When you keep a list of what you don’t want, as well as a list of what you DO want, then you are clear with the kind of man you want to MANfifest. While you might read the list of qualities you are seeking every day to build your belief in your ability to attract such a great guy, don’t do this with the deal breaker list.

As a dating coach for women over 40, I often explain to my clients how you don’t want to MANifest your deal breakers. The process can work in the negative if you focus too much on what you don’t want. The Universe can get confused because it responds to what you pay attention to. There’s a saying in Hawaiian Shamanism that states, “Energy flows where attention goes”.  Better to focus on what you DO want!

Now that we’ve covered what you want and don’t want and your specific deal breakers, what about the men? What deal breakers do they have about women?

According to April Beyer, matchmaker and dating coach, she says these are the top three:

1. An overly independent woman who doesn’t know how to turn off “the boss”
2. A woman who isn’t flexible
3. A woman who doesn’t take care of herself physically

As a dating coach for women dating over 40 or dating after divorce, one thing I know from my own dating journey and from speaking with my male clients, is that men don’t ever want to compete with you as a woman.That kills any possible romance.  

Men might have to compete with you at work, but when they see you, they want your feminine energy. Kindness, sweetness, warmth, connection and appreciation. So, ladies, please find a way to turn off the “chick in charge” when you go out with a man. Once he’s off duty, he doesn’t want to be in that work mode.

Men also want a woman who can be flexible about plans, ideas, etc. Can you go with the flow at least sometimes? Can you be spontaneous on occasion? This means a lot to a man and can earn you big points in his book.

The last one is rather obvious. Even if you gain a few pounds, you can still wear nice clothes, stay up to date with your hair and makeup, and maintain your sense of style. Exercise, which is good for your health and looks, eat well, get enough rest so you can be your best. Besides the fact that when you look good, you feel good, you’ll keep him interested and appreciating you. A woman who loves herself, honors herself by taking good care of herself.

Now that you’ve got the inside scoop on the top deal breakers for men, as your dating coach, I askyou to please do some soul searching. Assess if you exhibit these behaviors and then make the changes needed so you can get more second dates!

Photo Credit: Leo Reynolds

Find Lasting, Love at Any Age

Some women are quite content being single. They have consciously chosen their single status and have been very happy with that choice. I am all for happiness, in or out of relationship :-)

However, what is really important is to be honest with yourself about your desires…Because if you choose to remain single and “be done with men” to avoid being hurt, then that may not be your TRUE or ultimate desire. And you may end up with some regrets.

I recently spoke with Claire, a woman of 68 who had been married for over 20 years and had four children that were now grown with families of their own. She got divorced from her husband in her late 40′s and relished her freedom.  Claire had an adventurous spirit, took many lovers and tells fabulous, delicious stories that are book-worthy.

Eight years ago, Claire purposely chose to not bother with men any more. She said she had had enough. She took on other adventures like traveling and redecorating her home and she enjoyed all of that too. Now at 68, she is wondering if she made the best choices. Why?

• Was it because she didn’t enjoy her life? Absolutely not.
• Was it because she didn’t have the support of a good man? Nope.
• Was it because she didn’t have a loving partner today? Not that either.

Claire told me she came to realize she doesn’t have a man in her life who has known her for years. Looking back, she sees that even though she has incredible and fun memories, she doesn’t have a man to share them with and this gave her pause to wonder about her choices. She feels there would have been value and comfort in a second, long-term romantic relationship, more than her gallivanting provided.

This realization came to her when talking to a girlfriend in her 50′s. Sharon, now divorced, has had her own share of flings and fun with men. Now she too is tired of all that excitement and not being able to count on men. (Not that she was chooisng men by their ability to be counted on, stable or monogamous.)

That’s when it came to Claire about her own situation. As she  shared about her own love life, Claire recommended that Sharon not rush into that decision to “be done” with men.

As a dating coach for women who are dating over 40 or dating after divorce, I encouraged Claire to keep in mind that she could still choose to find love again. While they won’t have all the history between them, they can create a new history and build a new foundation. After all, Claire has the skills to interact with men romantically. The first step is for her to DECIDE she wants a man in her life again.

Claire decided to go for it!

If you who are reading this post and have avoided men to keep yourself safe from the pain of love, ask yourself if you’ve been holding back from a deep, truer desire that lies beneath the safety net you created. If you want a loving relationship, but have fears about it, you are not alone in those fears. Many woman share them and the good news is there are ways to work through them.

As your dating coach, I don’t want you to look back later with regrets that you could have made different choices.  

Take time to assess your true desires and be honest with yourself.

If you are happy as a single woman – that is awesome! But, if you secretly wish things were different, wish you were in a lasting, loving relationship, please be BOLD and DECIDE to do something about it.

 Photo Credit: Lawrence OP

Let me give you a sneak peak here so you can get an idea of what some of those powerful tips are. If you are a woman dating after divorce or dating over40, this fun and inspiring audio could turn your love life around quickly!

7 Top Tips to Attract the Love You Want

1. As a dating coach, my first tip is to  find a way to open your heart to love and men. I talk about why vulnerability is the key to connecting at the heart level. What assumptions might be creating the wrong ideas about men and dating. Why listening to your inner thoughts while walking down the street will tell you everything about where your openness is at.

2. The second tip is a discussion on building self confidence and how that impacts your appeal and ability to attract good men. You’ll hear several ways to start improving your confidence right away.

3. The third strategy is about the Yin and Yang of dating and the roles men and women play in this courtship dance. Once you get this simple idea under your belt, you will likely be freed up from hours of wondering what to do next or how to handle a situation. These clear-cut guidelines eliminate a lot of confusion and you’ll feel like finally, you have emerged from the dust cloud of dating to greater clarity about what to do.

4. Not surprisingly, the 4th strategy is flirting which, as a dating coach for women over 40, is one of my favorite subjects. I provide suggestions on how to invite men into your world and remind you that your feminine charm is a divine gift as well as a power and skill men cannot replicate. Anyone can flirt and do it well, including you.

 5. What makes the whole dating process a lot more fun? Taking the pressure off! You’ll learn why doing this can be the key to your dating success as it opens up so many more opportunities.

6. What would talk about meeting Mr. Right be without the MANifestng tips? This talk included my favorite methods to help you attract the love you want in the style of the book and movie the “Secret”.

7. Last but not least is a quick list of where to go to meet men. But before I launch into that, I share my ideas on why dating is like deep sea fishing – its a classic! You know several of these places to meet men already, but with new insights, your chances of meeting quality guys sky rocket.

So that’s it – a fabulous run down of my most fundamental dating strategies all on one MP3 audio download. Even if you’ve heard these ideas before, sometimes a new spin can help set you up for dating success. And you know what that success looks like?

That’s right – being in the fabulous, yummy relationship with an amazing man you’ve been longing for.

Good men are out there! Don’t wait another minute to discover these simple steps that offer practical and savvy ways to find the man of your dreams. The audio is 47 minutes and under $10.

Click here to listen to a clip of the audio and download your copy now. It’s like getting private dating coaching without the appointment!

Special thanks to Lisa, the Founder and Owner of Wetware Media