Dating Over 40: 8 Ways to Amplify Your Allure & Attract More Men – Part 1

Before I started on my dating journey, I was one of those women who men never approached. It was rare for a man to walk up to me and ask me to dance or even strike up a conversation. I often wondered what was it about some women that made flock to them?

As I continued on my journey to find love, dating 30 men in 15 months, I crammed a lot of learning into a very narrow window of time. Many details about dating became vividly clear to me when I dove head first into mid-life dating.

Today my over 40 dating coaching clients talk about how men find them intimidating. Well maybe you are intimidating. But maybe you are also sending signals that scream “Don’t come over here!” If that is the case -  that’s non-verbal self-sabotage!

But don”t worry. This is something very fixable. Follow these eight steps to amplify your allure and you’ll start attracting more men than you ever imagine. It’s hard to believe how simple this is, but once you understand the attraction principles at work, you’ll see why these steps are so very potent.

The Basic Principle: Become Approachable!

1. Get Out of the House
You’ll never meet men if you don’t get out of the house. Take a walk in the park, around your neighborhood or near the beach. Attend a singles event or dance. Go to a business networking function. Drag a girlfriend or go alone, but go! The rest of the techniques to amplify your allure can only be applied once you get out of the house and into the public eye.

2. Be Friendly
An approachable woman appears to be friendly. Men don’t approach women who don’t look friendly because men don’t really enjoy rejection. Nope, they prefer to approach women who seem like a good bet for a pleasant interchange. It’s not just about beauty at all. Do you appear friendly and pleasant? If not, that maybe reason #1 why men don’t approach you! The fundamentals of flirting start with being friendly.

3. Dress for Self-Esteem
When you run out to pick up a few items at the store, you probably don’t care what you look like. You dash in and out of the store to get what you need and return home as quickly as possible. A+ on efficiency, but a big “F” for allure.

The problem isn’t that you don’t look attractive – it’s that you don’t want to see anyone. You literally hide and try to be invisible! That’s counter-productive.  When you go out, dress to feel good about yourself. No matter where you’re going, take care of your appearance so that you FEEL  more confident. Beauty is over 80% how you feel about yourself. When you look good, you’ll feel good, be more visible, more approachable and automatically amplify your allure.

4. Hold Your Head Up and Smile
When you walk down the street, hold your head up, look happy and smile. People often insulate themselves when walking down the street to avoid attracting attention. But if you’re in a safe area, this is not necessary and cuts you off from potential interactions. When you hold your head up, keep your shoulders back and smile, you look confident and happy. You’ll be more alluring and you’ll feel happier too.

Some women are nervous about smiling at men, thinking this is some kind of promise. But au contraire – smiling is a simple acknowledgment that means, ”I see you.” Nothing more too it. When you smile, you acknowledge people and they feel good -so you feel good! And, that makes you even more attractive.

I’ll share four more sizzlin’ tips to amplify your allure tomorrow…

photo credit: cobalt123

Dating Over 40: New YouTube Video – Tips on Flirting

Do you flirt? When asked this question, most of my over 40 dating coaching clients  say things like:

• Flirt? I don’t know how!
• I haven’t flirted in years!
• I can’t remember how to flirt.
• I never have been a flirt.
• Why should I flirt?
• Who would I flirt with? (That’s a whole topic in itself isn’t it?)

Flirting is an art and every woman is capable and can do it.  Sometimes this skill has been on the back burner for quite a while, especially for those dating over 40.  Other times women have made a conscious choice to avoid this behavior out of misconceptions or a desire to focus on business and make it in a man’s world.

Whatever your reason, if you want romance in your life, it’s time to dust off those innate skills that are every woman’s birthright. Use it or lose it baby. And believe me, using your flirting power and feminine charm  is so much more fun!

Misconceptions from many of my over 40 dating coaching clients include:

• I don’t want to be a tease
• I’m not really interested in him
• I want to flirt with just the right guy
• I don’t want to lead a guy on

But the truth about flirting is – it’s a way of being friendly and interacting with people. There is no promise or teasing or leading anyone on when you have brief eye contact and  smile. But it is a way to acknowledge that someone has noticed you. Appreciate those people who appreciate you! Then you’ll both feel good.

By the way, if you are waiting for the perfect guy to flirt with, chances are you won’t be that great at it. Or your attempts may not seem like a natural part of your feminine charm. Why? Because you won’t have had enough practice! That’s why you might want to think about flirting as a fun way to interact with people, not just the perfect prospect.

I have finally completed a trio of videos that are up on Youtube.com and ready for viewing. The first one is below – Flirting Tips Part 1

I’ll share the other two this week as well. Please feel free to make a comment if you like the video after watching it on youtube – comments help the video become more popular.

For anyone who does make a comment, please let me know by email or contact form on the site and I’ll send you a free ebook entitled “Attract Your Next Great Mate” -  an informative compilation from many dating experts including me and The Dating Goddess.

Enjoy and happy flirting!

Over 40 Dating: Boost Your Appeal with Flirting to Attract More Men

This is a great story. A couple of weeks ago I did a presentation to a group of woman on Your Feminine Charm – How to Tap  into Your Power as a Woman. Honestly, as a dating coach, this is one of my favorite talks. I had already covered what is feminine charm, why you need it,  and some of how to have more feminine charm. The last phase of this discussion is flirting!

As I explained and demonstrated basic flirting techniques, one woman asked if she could interrupt with a story. Nancy said she had the perfect illustration of how powerful my recommendations are and how well they work. “OK” I said to Nancy, “Give it a whirl.”

Here’s Nancy’s Story
She was meeting a guy at a restaurant/bar whom she had only met briefly once before . To be honest, she simply couldn’t quite remember what the fellow looked like. As the time they were supposed to meet drew near, Nancy decided the best thing to do, given the uncertainty of recognizing her date, was to smile at every man walking her way, who seemed like he might be the guy.

In reality, this meant Nancy was smiling at quite  a few men. She sees a guy walking towards her and would smile as a greeting, just in case. Now, it’s important to know that prior to this moment, Nancy was not in the habit of smiling at random men. Especially men she didn’t know in a bar!

That’s why Nancy was so surprised by the results. It seems her date was late, which meant she had that much more time to smile at guys. By the time her date arrived, Nancy literally had a swarm of men encircling her. She was smiling and laughing and exacted by all the attention. And her date must have wondered how he landed time with such a popular and magnetic woman.

Nancy finished up the story by sharing how this was the most amazing, fun thing that happened to her during the entire time she was single. No doubt huh? I’d remember a flirting adventure like that for years too!

The Morale of the Story
This is what I share with all my dating coaching clients. Smile at men! Flirt because you can. Leverage these inborn, attraction skills. It’s your birthright. Your feminine charm is yours down to the cellular level of your DNA.  Enjoy the power of being a woman. It’s something men can’t do! And it’s a way of being around men that will zoom your appeal by light years.

Don’t hestitate to try out simple flirting techniques like smiling and holding a man’s gaze briefly – just 2-3 seconds. Acknowledge a man who you see looking at you and make him feel good because you noticed. It’s really simple courtesy but works like a charm – feminine charm.

That’s exactly what attracts a man to you. It’s not your sheer beauty or your independence, or all the money you’ve made or the high power job you’ve landed, or the sales award you won. It’s more like animal attraction because attraction is a biological function and 93% non-verbal. So don’t worry about what to say or  waste it and wonder where the men are. Work it baby, work it!

Never underestimate the power of your feminine charm. It’s the number one thing you’ve got going for you. Today, smile at a man and you’ll make his day – and most likely yours too.

photo credit:     ndbutter  

FLIRT SCHOOL

FLIRT SCHOOL 
Spice Up Your Feminine Charm to Meet More Men!

Spring is in the air and the desire for love usually intensifies. According to a recent article in the New York Times, the dating business is up! Both online dating sites and matchmakers report a spike in activity and lots of new members since December. What will you do to take advantage of this great opportunity?

Let me ask you three important questions:

- Do you feel desirable?
- Do men notice you?
- Do you ever flirt or know how?

Over 90% of attraction is non-verbal and based on how you feel about yourself. Learn how to avoid 5 things that drive men away. Then discover 7 simple ways that are guaranteed to increase your feminine charm and attract more men than ever!

Find out how easy it is to start flirting and leverage this natural part of who you are. And, learn why flirting is so crucial for your dating success.

Join me for this fun, eye-opening and empowering workshop to jump start spring romance.

Fee: $35
Includes my book MANifesting Mr. Right or any audio program of your choosing.

Register online until 9pm or call me at 203-877-3777 by 6pm.

Don’t miss out on this live workshop with Connecticut’s Best Known Dating Coach

Saturday, April 18th 9am – Noon
Shelton, CT - Location information supplied with completed registration

Over 40 Dating: Flirting Lessons with Madeleine Albright!

Last night I watched Real Time with Bill Maher.  One of his special guests was Madeleine Albright,past Secretary of State during the Clinton Administration.  Maher asked Madeleine a variety of questions. Then he veered off into an area that surprised me. Bill suggested that it’s easier for women to be Secretary of State because women know how to talk to men. And women can flirt! Bill asked Madeleine straight out if she flirted with the male heads of state that she had to deal with.

Her answer? A resounding “Yes!” Madeleine not only admited that she flirted with top officials from other countries, but she also sang and danced. How very entertaining. And how savvy to use her feminine charm.

When strategy is important, using everything in your back of tricks is the best move. Albright had to help these men feel comfortable and she did that through diplomacy, politics and her feminine wiles.

So, for you women out there who feel it is beneath you to flirt, take a lesson from Madeleine Albright. Regardless of the men involved, they are still men. Your feminine charm does not belittle you or make you appear weak. It shows you are proud to be a woman, know who you are and your strengths, and still can play with the big boys.

This weekend, why not look up and smile at a few men? They’ll feel special, and you’ll feel good in return. It’s a win/win proposition, so get out there and  bat those eyelashes will ya?

Dating Over 40: Flirting – Watch this How-To Video and Learn

 

Here’s something new for you – Love U, an educational video series on… DATING! How fun!

I  just watched this quick video on flirting. They have the concepts down, but the demonstration seems a bit tongue and cheek. Not all that serious, really. But the lessons themselves are sound. Things like flipping your hair, mirroring his body language, and scent do make a difference and are key elements to any successful flirting plan. But I’m sure you’ll get a kick out of how the team in this little vignette executes the plan.

If you’ve got 3 minutes, why not watch it and get a good laugh. It’s pretty entertaining. Watch here  You can never get enough flirting training so check it out for yourself.

Dating After Divorce: Flirting Can Get You Arrested in NYC and Arkansas

Today on MSN.com, there is an article with some fun flirting tips – including that it’s illegal in New York City and Arkansas – antiquated laws that are still on the books.  To ensure you don’t get fined, or worse, you may want to read this . I wouldn’t worry to much though – both places have bigger infractions and law breakers to follow up on.

One of the best tips states that you can over do it. That is for sure. When flirting, avoid holding a gaze too long. This is considered an aggressive move so don’t over indulge. (You know the alpha-dog thing.) Only mothers and their children or lovers can hold an extended eye-lock with any comfort, so don’t over stay your look-see.

My favorite flirting benefit is that flirts have higher white blood cell counts – thus better  immune systems. Go figure. See, flirting is not only the key to dating, but also good for your health. Next time you have a cold and don’t feel like being friendly, remember the benefits and give it a try! Your immune system will thank you.