Dating Over 40: How to Become a Millionaire Matchmaker

I read a great interview (from the Wall Street Journal digital netowrk )with Patti Stanger, Bravo’s Millionaire Matchmaker on how she became a full-time matchmaker.  She started out in corporate America but eventually shifted her part time matchmaking business to her full-time passion. That’s often the story with entrepreneurs who decide to just go for it. At some point, you have to decide to take a risk…or not.

The same could be said for finding love.:
- You try the same old strategy year after year
- You go after the same type of guy, guy after guy
- You visit the same bar scene weekend after weekend

Do these strategies work for you?

Nope. Yet , week after week, year after year you try them as if these tired methods will suddenly start working. You keep thinking its got to kick in right?

As your dating coach, it’s my job to say, “That’s not likely to happen!”  Yes, anything is possible. You could even win the lottery. But your chances are so much better if you buy a ticket. Get it?

Take a lesson from Patti. Three quarters of her matchmaking job is coaching her clients for dating success. If your methods haven’t produced a loving partner in over a year, perhaps it’s worth revisiting your strategies.

You might even consider working with a dating coach. Now, I’m not asking you to sign up today. But, keep this in mind – the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting a different outcome. The question becomes – what new method will you try to jump start your love life this summer? What risk will you take to get out of your comfort zone and try something new?

I’m over here routing for you! I’ve been in your shoes. I know how it feels to be single, frustrated, lonely and sometimes in despair.

On the other hand, I know you can find love. i did it, so many of my clients have done it. And I know if I could do it, and my clients can do it, you can find love too. Take a risk.

Take a tip from Patti’s entrepreneurial spirit and her matchmaking expertise. Try something new. Give yourself the opportunity to succeed with a fresh approach! Love is totally worth the effort.

If I Hire an Expensive Matchmaker, Will the Quality of Men Be Better?

Where can I find the good men? Ahhh, an age old question. By “good”, women usually mean men who are successful, attractive, charming and ready for a committed relationship. Unfortunately, so called “Good Men” do not congregate in any one special place. It’s not like they all go to the same dance or bar with a neon arrow flashing at the front door. It’s just not that simple.

I can’t tell you how many women call me, the over 40 dating coach, asking  how to find the good men who want to be committed. They often ask,  ”What if I hire a matchmaker? They’ll have good men to introduce me too and I won’t have to find them myself.” Oh yeah, right.

Imagine if matchmakers and dating services had some magical way of sorting through the men to attract and register only the “good ones.”

Matchmakers Don’t Own the Market on Good Men
Matchmaking and dating services are businesses, like everything else. The business idea is to entice people to sign up. The services that are reputable will have some parameters, but most of them boil down to these three:

1. Can the prospect pay the fee?

2. Is the person single?

3. Do they have a criminal record?

Beyond that, there is little screening going on. Of course they ask who the person would like to meet and do try to find matches. But keep this in mind:

Matchmakers and dating services can only match you with those who are registered with their service. They have a limited inventory.

Think of it like a clothing store. If you shop at Macy’s looking to purchase Dolce & Gabbana jeans, but Macy’s doesn’t carry them. you aren’t going to find them. You have to select jeans from their inventory because that is all they have in stock. Same principle works with dating services and matchmakers. They have an inventory consisting of the men who are were willing to ask for help and pay for it.

Take a moment right now and think about this. How many successful, attractive, charming men do you know that need help finding a woman to date?

None. Exactly! (Find out what the Get Married Gurus have to say about this)

Think about the Millionaire Matchmaker
Look at what Patti Stanger goes through on Bravo TV’s Millionaire Matchmaker. This week she had two millionaires who were attractive, tall, 40, successful in business and even at picking up women. They claimed they wanted to get more serious. “Claimed” is the KEY.

Both men broke club rules not only during the matching event, but also on their dates. Bachelor #1 served his date dinner in his hotel room next to the bed. When dinner was over, he asked her to be dessert and sleep with him. She declined

Bachelor #2 wasn’t satisfied having one woman on his date, so he contacted another woman on Facebook and invited her to a three-some dinner! The real ”match” was outraged and Patti threw him out of the club.

She Didn’t Turn Away Their Business
But, Stanger didn’t turn either of them down, sorting for only “good men” She’s a business person and decided to give them a try. She did her best, but she can’t make anyone behave. No matchmaker can.

Am I Suggesting Not to Hire a Matchmaker?
No, but  you do need to be realistic about the available men. Whether you use online dating as your method to meet men, or hire a matchmaker or both, you will still need to do the sorting. There’s absolutely no way around it.

Sometimes  a matchmaker will hit the nail on the head with a guy who meets all your criteria. People do get married via matchmaking frequently. But you will meet all kinds of men, an unavoidable facet of dating.

Be Reasonable and Patient with Your Expectations
Meet the people the matchmaker sends you. Meet some of the men who contact you via the Internet. If you  turn away all prospects, you won’t meet any men. Don’t become the biggest obstacle to your search for love. Get real and get out there. Love can be yours if you open up to it.  

The Get Married Gurus can help with Six Steps to Lasting Love

photo credit: Joe Pemberton

Millionaire Matchmaker: Client’s Who Follow Patti’s Advice Find Love

Did you watch this week’s episode of the Millionaire Matchmaker? It was another great show!  The theme Tuesday night was the “Bumpkin and the Bisexual.”

The Bumpkin
Somehow, this young, good looking Christian guy from Indiana (was it?) came to Patti for help finding a good match. Seems hard to believe he couldn’t find love with the help of his 50 relatives in his own backyard on the farm…Maybe its a small town. What do you want from a guy who says Pizza Hut is his favorite restaurant? He was pretty cute though.

The good news about Trevor is that he really listened to Patti’s advice and managed to select Patti’s two picks for his mini-dates. Then he went with the traditional blonde country girl for his big date at the 1-800 Flower farm. Nice setting but, uh, is Patti getting a bit commercial? Well, might as well make hay while the sun shines – that’s what they say down on the farm.

The Bisexual
Tricia is divorced and curious about dating a woman. She did have one experience in her past and thought it might be a good way to go after her husband of ten years cheated on her. Patti wasn’t totally convinced but went with the flow to provide what her client desired. At one point during the mixer, both Tricia and Trevor were talking to the same woman – that was a hoot!

After selecting the cutest macho woman out of the bunch, Tricia and her date went roller skating together, followed by dinner. There was some voice over in which Tricia admitted she wished her date had been more aggressive, so I wasn’t surprised when she told Stanger during the debriefing, that she  prefers men.

Big Surprise – Patti’s Past Comes Out
Today, when I visited the Bravo site, I saw there were a bunch of new video clips from the show and one of them had been edited out from the show. There it was on the web – Patti admitting her own adventure as a bi-curious woman. Just once she says…She much prefers the staff!

It’s always something on the Millionaire Matchmaker!

I really appreciate Patti’s no nonsense approach with her clients and how she tells them like it is. When I speak with my matchmaker friends, they laugh saying if they ever spoke to clients like that – they’d have no clients! That wouldn’t work so well with some of my dating coaching clients either. Maybe when I get rich and famous like Patti Stanger….

Millionaire Matchmaker – TMI Keeps Chef from Second Date

Rather than picking apart the two millionaires Patti had on the show last night, I want to talk about the dark-haired chef that both men chose initially for their mini-dates. I wish I could remember her name but it escapes me, so for now I’ll call her Chefgirl. Let me share important dating tips from this over 40 dating coach.

Chefgirl has a great smile, beauty, knows how to cook and came across with confidence in teh first impression. Unfortunately, this fell apart in the first few minutes of her 10-minute mini-date with both Tyler and Justin.

 With Justin, it wasn’t long before she started talking about her eating disorder from her teens brought on by her mother’s death. Totally tragic. But, this detail about her life has no place in the first few minutes of meeting someone new. Especially with a man you want to impress. You can share this info, but later when you have started to get to know each other. (Read more about this) When my over 40 dating coaching clients tell me about their dates, I always ask what they talked about at the first meeting for this very reason.

Patti checked in with Justin to see what he thought about Chefgirl and he told her – TMI – too much information and not pleasant or up beat. Patti then shared this feedback with Chefgirl between dates, telling her to talk about subjects. But, Chefgirl didn’t get it and she proceeded to bring up her mom’s death at the beginning of her next date with Tyler, the other millionaire.

OMG! I wish I could spend one hour with Chefgirl to do some sorely needed dating coaching - her dating life would dramatically improve. What a shame with so much going for her which is exemplified by both millionaires choosing right off the bat. Then she failed the next test and couldn’t get a second date.

If you recognize yourself in this, refrain from spilling your life history and sad stories for later. Tough topics have their place, but require a foundation of connection and some intimacy before you can get to that level of sharing. Instead, keep things light and happy and smile as the guys asks you for date number two.

Dating After Divorce: Millionaire Matchmaker is Back on Bravo Tonight!

Yeah – Patti’s back with season 3! This time with a ring on her finger. Guess she finally convince her beau to poop or get off the pot. Good for her! She’s been flashing a large and quite sparkly, heart-shaped ring in the commercials announcing the first show of the new season!

Can’t wait to see her new matchmaking clients, how she coaches the difficult ones and her strategies to keep the ball rolling and make matches that stick. One thing I like about Patti is how she tells the guys when they are unrealistic – one of the biggest issues with dating today for men and women.

It’s hard to get people to manage their expectations and come to some sort of realism. The difference with Patti’s clients is that they are millionaires, so she tries to make them happy while dishing out the advice. If you got a fee of $10,000-30,000,  wouldn’t you try to make your client happy too? Reality does have a different look to it when that much cash is on the line.

I’ll watch and keep you posted for sure – Can’t wait!

Dating Over 40: From the Millionaire Matchmaker & The Chilled Vodka Room to Rock of Love on Ellen

I love this show! Have you seen the lastest episodes of the Millionaire Matchmaker? Last week’s was over the top for one guy. Patti was trying to help Laurence with his dating strategy – he’s not a quick study. Not only didn’t he follow Patti’s sage advice, but he did everything she told him not to do including inviting his date to go to Vegas spur of the moment.  What a surprise that she said “NO!” 

Laurence is going no where fast. During the debrief with Patti, he actually told her that his date should CALL HIM since she rejected his Vegas request. Are you KIDDING me? How could he even come up with such a ridiculous thought – he really is completely delusional about his role in dating and women. This is just more proof that money is not the end all be all. Certainly not in Laurence’s case. Patti kicked him out of her office. Smart move Patti.

On another bizarre note, Brett Michaels was on the Ellen Degeneres show recently talking about not one, not two, but three seasons of Rock of Love on MTV. What a shocker that he still hasn’t settled down with a woman of his own choosing. What a complete and total sham. Ellen didn’t buy into any of it. You go girl!

Dating Over 40: The Millionaire Matchmaker is Back!

I’m a big Bravo TV fan and one show that is my favorite is returning this month – The Millionaire Matchmaker with Patti Stanger. First of all, she looks pretty hot from the previews. Perhaps some personal work after last season…

But more than that, Patti offers serious, no nonsense, sensible dating advice to her clients and tells the men how it is about their desire to date younger women. Let me say, "Thank you Patti!"

The preview show for the new season airs today on BRAVO at 12:30pm, but also runs other times this week. Plus you can catch the reruns from last season if you want to get current. Here’s a link to the schedule.

Enjoy!

 

Dating Over 40: Millionaire Matchmaker Ends with Proposal-Please Don’t Try This at Home!

Did you catch the last episode of Patti Stanger’s Millionaire Matchmaker on Bravo? What a shocker! One of her clients, Paul met his first match, Cidney, and during the date while flying around in a helicopter, he asked her to marry him! I was stunned.

Talk about love at first sight. Is that really possible? Maybe it was altitude sickness?

And what did the Cidney say in response? Her exact words were a hesitantly delivered "I’ll consider it."  Yet, it appeared that Paul heard her say "Yes," and  called to tell Patti. You can watch the video clip after-date interviews of both parties here

And as it turns out, Cidney moved from LA to live with him in Las Vegas while they start planning their wedding! I can’t possibly use enough exclamation points to convey my emotional reaction.

Well I suppose this is no different than an arranged marriage, but on national TV in the USA? Paul was totally taken with Cidney, she looks good, is intelligent and well educated, comes from a good family, is the same religion, and shares the goal of marrying and starting a family.

Why shop around? Paul decided to just go for it.

OK, I’ve watched enough TV for a while. Dear readers, please don’t try this at home. This is Reality TV after all and not REAL LIFE. but it did make for good TV and that’s what the goal was here.

So the season wraps up with a kicker! Whoa. Let’s see if it comes back for another round – and how do you follow that act?